#and he resolves to do better from now on.....

[housederiva]

Here's every version of the letter the Inquisitor gets from their LI plus Varric (which didn't make me cry at all)

If your Inky didn't romance anyone:

Inquisitor, Greetings from miserable, rainy Minrathous! (Don't tell Dorian I called it that.) The rotten weather here is making me nostalgic for Skyhold. The mountains were freezing, but at least the air didn't smell like wet garbage. We'll have to get in another game of Wicked Grace, soon. Harding picked up the trail again. I'd tell you not to worry, but I know how useless that is. Instead, I'll just say: I've got a great team on this. Neve could stare down the Maker, and wait until you meet Rook. He's/She's/They're a natural: Smart, resourceful, completely unpredictable. You'd like him/her/them, as long as you don't try to beat him/her/them at cards. Chuckles'll never know what hit him. I'll write again once we have something solid for you. Drinks at the Hanged Man are on me when this is over. Take care of yourself. Varric

Blackwall:

My love, You have summoned me to Minrathous, and I will answer your call, as soon as responsibilities here in the South allow. I have missed being by your side. Will these troubles be the last we face? The world seems always to conspire, through duty or disaster, to pull you away from me. I do not resent it. You are dedicated to purposes far larger and more significant than myself. I hope you do not think me a fool for hoping that one day, your only concern will be the color you wish our walls to be painted, or the flowers we will plant beside our gate. I'm partial to carnations. Yours always, Thom

Cassandra:

My love, We are no strangers to duty, or the separation it demands of us. You head for Tevinter, and though I want to go with you, there is work we both must do. I will not falter in the tasks that wait before me and I pray my actions, in whatever measure they can, will keep you safe. The others see only confidence in my resolve, but you have always known more than mere appearance. I confess to you, and you alone, that I am afraid. I'm afraid of what may happen, that Thedas will face such turmoil as it did before. I know not what awaits us. Yet even in the face of uncertainty, there are two things I cannot doubt and never will. The first is that our paths are never separated long. That I will find you at my side when I need you, as you will find me at yours. I will play my part in this and follow as soon as I can. The second thing I never doubt is you. Whatever lies before you, trust yourself. Trust your heart as I trust it. It will not lead you astray. Yours, Cassandra

Cullen:

The top of the letter has been punctured by small, sharp teeth, leaving most of a beloved name and a few sentences chewed to read. I fear the puppy started on this letter shortly after I did. I'd start over, but I must send this tonight if it's to reach you. Matters are settled here and I make for Tevinter as soon as possible. I almost believed chaos might spare us this time. I can't say I wished to see Minrathous before now, but I am eager to see you. I long to see your face and know that you are all right. You are I've There's I wish I was better at putting into writing all that's in my mind. For now, simply know that I love you. It is the most cherished constant of my life. The days ahead will not be easy. I know there's much you carry, more than many realize. But whatever you must face, you will not meet it alone. You have my sword, my counsel, my - I could write this list forever when all I mean to say is this - Whatever you need of me, I am yours. Cullen

Dorian:

Amatus, I'm writing. Again. Yes, the sending crystals still work and yes, you'll be in Minrathous in a few short weeks. But a letter, written in blind longing, is real. It can be touched, and it can be held, when ink and paper must substitute for your skin on mine and my breath in your ear. I used to scoff at frequent declarations of affection. Trite, I thought. Save them for rare and precious moments. But time and love are no longer things I care to squander, especially not as we race again toward calamity. And so, in each of these fleeting, ephemeral seconds, I will tell you that I love you. Whether penned or spoken, or conveyed by glance or action, I love you. In this moment, and in all the moments to come, for as long as they do, I love you. I will find you soon. Yours, Dorian

Iron Bull

Hey, Kadan, Not the first time we've marched toward different battles. I know you're keeping the crap from catching fire up in Tevinter. Wish I could be there, but I'll make sure there's a world for you to come back to when you're done dealing with crazy vints and stupid Antaam and whatever other crap Solas kicked up. (Shit, the Antaam. Remember when I was worried what would happen if I went tal-vashoth? That right there!) I know you're gonna be careful, and you've got Morrigan there. Just take care of yourself. If anything happens to you, I'm going to have to take Krem and the Chargers and stomp across all of Tevinter to come get you. It'll be a whole thing, and you know it'll upset Dorian. Being apart from you made me realize something else. I spent so long being whatever the Ben-Hassrath wanted me to be. An investigator. An agent. A mercenary sending reports. These past years, since the Inquisition ended, I've been able to just be what I want to be. And what I really want to be is yours. I like the person I am when I'm with you. So come back safe. Love, The signature appears to be a stylized rendering of the Iron Bull's head.

Josephine:

My Dearest Lord/Lady, I have spoken to friends in Minrathous. They offer us their hospitality, not to mention shelter from the worst intrigues of the Archon's Palace. While you're well acquainted with the roving eyes of grand courts, please take care. Tevinter's regard can be the oldest and cruelest of them all. The family writes the weather back home is beautiful. I do miss our quiet times together. There is a question I've wanted to ask you for so long. I would like to pretend I have been busy, or it was not the proper time. But, if I am being honest, I only waited because I have been afraid of choosing a poor moment. Please, let me make a promise to you here. When we return to Antiva, I will ask you, on the steps of the estate, if you will do me a great honor. And I dream you will say yes. Always yours, Josephine Postscript: I cannot believe it nearly slipped my mind. Yvette and Lord Otranto send their best wishes, and hope to see us back home in time to welcome their third child.

Sera:

(An artistically doodled journal page presumably from the Inquisitor's partner, Sera.) Keep this as close as I need you. (A drawing of a pile of flowers, with lines like it's moving, an arrow pointing to it labeled "us.") - North again, Mini-wrathus still stuck up its own pucker. - Magiturds are scared of us. They don't even know. - We work with Maevaris, right? She's wow. - So many Friends! Jennies in all the walls! - We kill him this time. He took from us twice! (A drawing of a cracked egg scribbled out, with "can't even joke" in letters that tore the page.) - Still thinking of you sideways. - Never mind the Dalish, here's the Veil Jumpers! Tempest-kin! (A drawing of a tall, shorthaired elf (Sera?) and Irelin brandishing two fingers, backflipping as a tree explodes in runes.) - The memory thing makes my head spin. If that Rook doesn't take it, throw it out. - Tell Morrigan ppbbth! for me. - I'll also tell her ppbbth! She knows why. - Tell them to Stripe. Him. Up. I wanted more books. (More heavy scribbles that tear.) - You meet; I'll keep you safe. Then I'm your time off, and you're my time on. (The last section has different colored inks, like Sera has returned to it several times.) New naked names: -Sweet-tits (scribbled out) -Bestest (scribbled out) -Loverly (scribbled out) -Lovey (scribbled out) -My-for-always-and-ever - name's not too long, time's too short. -But "Sweet-tits," though (scribbled out)

Solas:

Vhenan, I do not know if you will see these words. My ritual is ready and will soon be set in motion. Perhaps when you read this the world will be as it once was, and you will see why all I did was necessary. I cannot ask your forgiveness, but I hope you come to understand. That night in Crestwood, when I shared the truth about your vallaslin... you do not know how close I came to breaking. I could have shared the truth, or even put my plans aside and simply stayed with you as Solas... as I wanted. I regret the pain I caused you. What I feel for you will never change. The note is unsigned, but the handwriting is Solas'.

[peachesofteal]

Simple Math / Part Nineteen

Simple Math masterlist

Ghost/Soap/female reader AO3 - 3.2k words Tags: 18+ mdni. nurse!reader. Pregnancy and things that come with it. PTSD, anxiety, despair, depression. A lot of internal monologue.

“I need to borrow your car.” Marshall’s eyebrows shoot straight up into his hairline.

“Excuse me?”

“Your car.” You spit, barely containing the tremble in your voice. Your throat is tight, hundreds of thousands of pounds sitting on top of your chest, crushing you, your heart. “Marshall-“

“I’m confused why you think I’d let you borrow my car.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, the thin shred of patience you’ve been holding onto finally ripping apart.

“I have put up with you for years. I have dealt with your shit, your relentless pursuit of anything that walks, your lack of interest in your own patients. I have covered for you. I have babysat for you. You owe me.” He blinks, and then pats his pocket, scrutinizing your expression.

“Are you okay?” You glitch for a second. The orchestrated denial, evasion slips away as you grapple with his question. You’ll never be okay. Never.

It snaps back like a rubber band. Like a backhand across your face.

“I’m fine.” You’re not fine. You’re drowning. You’re at the bottom of a well, stone walls cracking and crumbling at your feet. “Keys.” He drops them into your outstretched palm with a sigh. “You can pick it up at the south station in a few hours, okay?”

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes…” A plan is still rapidly taking shape, forming from bits and pieces of roads laid out before you. “My mother is sick, and not answering the phone. I’m worried, trying to get over there as soon as I can.” He nods, unphased by the glaringly obvious hole in your lie.

“Of course.”

You have no one to blame but yourself.

The girl in the mirror blinks back at you with judgement in the quiet of the bathroom. She regards you with disgust.

Foolish.

Hot water flows over your knuckles, your palms. It burns, too hot to be sensible, scorching your skin.

It’s pain you deserve.

This is the only time you’ll give yourself for now, the only time you’ll break until it’s safe again.

You shatter to pieces. You scream into your hands, sobs cracking your ribs, cleaving you apart.

It was all a lie.

And you’re the one who fell for it. You’re the one who believed it was real, that they were true. You believed you could walk in the sun, and you only have yourself to blame.

You try to burn their faces from your mind, incinerating your memories to ash. Johnny’s eyes, his easy smile, the lilt of his accent when he’d say your name. Simon’s low murmurs and comfort in the dark, the way they molded themselves around you, held you.

They tricked you, but they made it so real, so believable. So sweet as they wrapped you up in a web, dripped poisoned honey into your mouth from their own.

Lies. They’re full of lies.

Steam rises from the bowl of the sink, and you look yourself in the face again. You stare at the woman who allowed herself to be manipulated, who gave herself to two people who only sought to harm her.

But-

They gave you a gift, didn’t they? They gave you this chance.

Your palm hovers over your stomach, and you fill your lungs with oxygen.

Get it together. Get yourself together.

Your world crumbles beneath your feet, but you’ve done this before. You’ll do it again. Better, even, now with the stakes so high, higher than you could ever imagine.

You can do this.

Deep breath.

The foundation of your resolve cracks when you step through the front door and Penny comes padding down the hall with her arms up.

You meet her in a crouch, letting her cuddle you, small fingers twisted in your scrub top. “Hey Penny girl. How’s your day, huh?” She signs something and then points to the living room before smiling.

“Bocks.”

You retreat into yourself, burying the lump in your throat, swallowing your tears. “I love you; you know that?” You lick your thumb and wipe the corner of her mouth. “So much.” Lou clears her throat from the hallway, watching with a strange expression.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just tired, and forgot my work backpack.” You had forgotten how easy it is, to lie. How easy the mask slides on. It’s almost nonchalant, a practiced art.

You retreat upstairs before she can question you further.

In a sewn in pocket of a backpack shoved under the guest bed, is a cellphone. It’s a flip phone, old and clunky, always charged, but almost always off, except when it’s needed. Programmed with a single contact, a pre written text already in the drafts.

I’m moving again. I’ll keep you posted.

The response is always the same. Be safe.

There are too many items in your life now. Too many objects, too many things, and too little time to pick through them.

You stick to your rules. Pack light and easy. You can replace anything left behind once you’re somewhere safe. Nothing frivolous, self-indulgent, or even sentimental.

It’s tempting to take a permanent marker and scribble fuck you across their bathroom mirror, tempting to take a knife to the mattress and slice it to shreds. It’s tempting to rip their clothes to pieces, to soak their life in lighter fluid and strike a match. The anger pulses in your veins like poison, knowing you could never.

Even now, the idea of them hurting makes you feel sick.

Fool, you’re a fool. A silly, stupid girl who got caught up in a fairytale with no sense to save herself.

You take one last long look at the bed. The bed where you thought you were safe, the place where your nightmares eventually turned to dreams.

Tears burn at the back of your eyes, and it takes everything you have to stay upright.

Phillip terrorized you, beat you black and blue, stole your future, your life-

but it never hurt as bad as this.

Marshall’s car is, of course, is expensive. Something out of a fancy television commercial. It’s comfortable, fast, and drives smoother than butter.

It reminds you of Phillip. Of all the luxury and riches surrounding him, the mile high leg up he had since the day he was born. His entire existence carefully crafted and honed into something out of a nightmare, the mask of a monster slipping on and off as easily as yours.

You used to wonder if money really did buy happiness before you met him, and then you learned. Some people crave more. Some people crave violence. Destruction.

There’s no happiness for those who are rotten to the core, their souls as dark as night, their desires putrid and inhumane.

You never saw it with them, in them. You never felt it, the way you felt it in Phillip. They fooled the wariest heart.

Will your child be like them? Deceitful? Evil?

Will it be nature versus nurture?

The first piece of the puzzle is figuring out where to go, how far to run. You need a city or a town big enough to hide in, a hospital that’s in desperate need of nurses, and a flat that’s available immediately. No smaller islands in case you need a quick escape, no countries where you may struggle with the assimilation. Accessible by train. Primarily English speakers.

You briefly dream about something tropical and warm with a beach before you shake the thought loose in favor of the city that’s always been on your short list.

Edinburgh.

It’s painfully kismet, knowing you’ll bring your child to one of their father’s birthplaces, fitting in a sick, senseless way, but you have no choice. You vetted the city in the past, scoped out appropriate neighborhoods, chose a potential workplace. It’s been at the top of your list.

It’s the logical option.

The air is cold. It stings the tip of your nose, your ears, isolates your exhales and turns them into white puffs of fog. Your jacket is too light, too soft for this kind of weather, representative of all the clothing you have in your backpack, and your wallet weeps at the idea of a brand-new wardrobe.

Still, you don’t cry. The tears don’t come, they’re held back by an iron clad dam, an impenetrable fortress built around your heart. People move around where you’re stuck still on the platform, a round rock in the middle of a river, surfaced smoothed by the repeated flow of water.

That’s what you are.

A smooth surface, a still pond, a tranquil lake. Cohesion in its ultimate form, hydrogen bonds clinging to one another, casting a tightly knit net of water molecules over the whole of your being. Lies upon lies meshed to create perfection, an unblemished nurse, an agreeable personality, an overall uninteresting but more than perfunctory person. Forgettable.

Step off the platform, into the street. Slip beneath the surface, swim to the bottom, pack yourself away and assume your new life, new name, new existence, the glass surface hiding a turbulent sea.

Things fall into place. You get hired on the spot and find a great apartment almost immediately. Better than great, if you’re honest. It’s a generously sized two-bedroom, freshly painted, no landlord specials in sight.

“What do ye think?” You wince. The accent pulls a string, tugs on a chord buried deep.

“I’ll take it. I can give you three months’ rent up front,” you survey the locks, “if you can add a deadbolt.” The door only has a keypad lock, the fancy new kind touchscreen kind. You don’t trust them. The wires are too easy to manipulate. He cocks his head.

“Shouldnae be a problem.” He’s looking closely now, too closely, and you flash a smile.

“Thanks. I’m a bit paranoid, you know? New city, can’t be too careful.”

“O’ course.”

“So… how far along are ye?” You choke on the dry piece of scone in your throat.

“Sorry?”

“The bairn?” She points to your belly, and you shift the hospital issued zip up hoodie over your waist. Her face softens. “Don’t worry, I willnae tell.” You haven’t disclosed the pregnancy to your boss yet, trying to wait it out as long as possible to prevent getting fired, still holding onto hope that no one will notice. It’s common practice, something women around the world try to manage, tiptoe around until the last second. Sisterhood, you guess.

“Almost twenty weeks.”

“About halfway then.” Her name is Ally, you think, or with an ie, Allie maybe. She’s a float, the worst position in the hospital, and your envy is nowhere to be found. You’d rather work peds than be in her shoes.

“Yup.” The p pops on your lips apprehensively. Being noticed is a problem. You can’t lose this job, not after the all the energy and effort you’ve expended to make this place home. The apartment you’ve slowly furnished, the baby’s room you’ve now painted, all the broken pieces starting to fall into place.

“Boy or girl?”

“I don’t know.” You manage a weak smile. “I’m gonna wait, I think. Leave it as a surprise.” She claps her hands.

“That’s the best! I have two and did it the same way. It’s so fun.” The conversation wanes, her expression shifting into sympathy. “If ye ever need anything, I’m around. Okay?” Your jaw clenches.

It’s a reminder of how alone you really are. How you have no one to depend on, no one to go to, nothing holding you up. The extension of a helping hand almost brings you to tears, and you whisper with true gratitude.

“Thank you.”

You lose hold of the strings stitching you together as you stare at parts and pieces spread out around your knees, screwdriver abandoned, instructions crumpled up and tossed to the corner.

The ache in your heart is physically spreading. It’s crumbling your weary bones to dust, zapping your strength and resolve away until there’s only despair, desperation left in its wake. You press the heels of your hands into your eyes, trying to stem the loss of the control, the tears slipping down your cheeks. “I can’t do this.”

It’s the first time you’ve admitted defeat, and your arms fall limp before wrapping around your belly. “I can’t. I can’t do it.” The words are stifled by gut wrenching sobs, the wave of hopelessness washing over you like a wall of water intent on destruction.

How will you do this alone?

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, slowly stroking over the curve of your bump, rocking back and forth. “It’s just you and me little sunbeam, and I- I don’t know how to do this. I’m going to mess it up.” That’s the crux of it, the heaviness weighing on your shoulders. You’re going to fail. You don’t know how to be a mom, you never imagined doing all this alone.

You wish they were here, you want them here, against all better judgement, and as you lay down on the carpet in the baby’s room, you close your eyes and allow indulgence, a fantasy where you’re not alone. Where you’re curled up on the couch between them, safe and warm. They tell you they love you, assure you how good of a job you’re doing, how wonderful of a mom you’ll be. A dream where they would hold you, wipe your tears, hold their hands to your belly to feel the baby kick. You’d experience all the firsts together, watch Penny become a big sister together, go through all of the highs and lows together.

The fantasy falls away as the cold creep of dread drags you back to reality.

They don’t love you.

They never did.

Your dreams are just that, dreams. Made up nonsense that never existed in the first place.  

Something is wrong.

His knees flex on the bench, attention fixated on the giant sliding doors at the entrance of the hospital.

He’s unsettled. It’s a rare feeling, but Phillip fucking Graves appearing in the hallway today like a nightmare that never goes away has thrown him off kilter.

“Have a man in surgery here. Flown in on a medivac this morning.”

He threw a barb at Johnny immediately after, a comment in jest, but there was something unusual about the glint in his eye.

It was a shine Simon recognized well. The ripple of a hunter, on a scent track of prey.

You’re ten minutes late now, but it’s not unheard of. You rarely, if ever, get out on time.

It never concerns him, except for today. A cloud lingers overhead, caliginous and heavy with rain, waiting for the right moment to change everyone’s day, to spoil it all.

It’s a bad sign, and he doesn’t know why.

When the clock hits twenty minutes past, he texts you.

No response.

He texts again.

No response, again.

When he calls, the phone doesn’t ring. He tries a second time, and then a third, before shoving it into his pocket and stalking inside to the information desk, conveniently placed right in front of the double doors.

“I need a visitor pass.” He towers over the poor girl behind the counter, and she blanches. “For the ICU. I have a family member up there.”

“O-okay.”

There’s only one person at the nurses’ station, a man, a doctor, who is regarding him with cold curiosity as Simon comes striding over, your name on his lips.

“Wait… you’re one of the boyfriends, right?” His tags reads ‘MD’ with his first initial and last name. J. Marshall. He holds his hands up in surrender. “I don’t know where she is. She ran out of here hours ago.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Asked to borrow my car and everything, said she…” He’s still talking, but nothing is registering. There’s a high-pitched frequency ringing in the back of  Simon's head, a whine turning to a roar, a tinny sound making the backs of his eyes hurt.

He leans into Marshall’s face, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. “Where did she say you could pick it up?”

“S-south station. Get the fuck off me-“ Simon shoves him backward, sending him flying on the rolling chair he was lounging in. “I’m calling security!”

“Don’t bother.” Simon doesn’t look back. By the time the call connects, he’s already on the first floor and almost out the door.

“She came home in the middle of the day.” Johnny’s pacing, hands in his hair, ignoring Simon’s pleas to sit down, calm down. “Lou said she seemed off.”

“Something must have spooked her.” He accedes, staring at a spot on the wall, trying to put it all together. You wouldn’t have run without a reason. After everything, after all this time spent together, building trust, building love, a relationship, it’s the one thing he knows for certain. You’re in danger, he can feel it.

Johnny stumbles, careening to the side, and Simon darts forward, tugging him into his chest, nose in his hair. His breath catches, once, twice, before it breaks into a wet cough, a cracked cry caught in his throat, crestfallen and agonized, and Simon tries to soothe him. “We’ll find her.” They have to, there’s no other option, no other paths that don’t lead to you.

“She’s out there alone,” Johnny shakes his head, “she’s in danger, she must be.” He knows it just as Simon does, knows you like he knows each line in Simon’s palm.

“We’ll find her love, we will.” The rest of it hovers in the air between them, the painful acknowledgment that maybe they’re not so different from your abuser, maybe they’re no better than the man who brutalized you. They’d chase you across oceans, across the globe to bring you home. They’d use all their resources, manipulate systems, act with violence, to see you again. To hold you.

“What if she doesnae want us to find her? What if…”

“That’s not why she left.” Simon’s resolute in his denial of the possibility. You haven’t run away from them. You ran from something, someone, hunting you. “We’ll fix it.”

It’s been six weeks since they’ve seen you.

Six weeks since they’ve seen your smile, the thing they worked so hard to earn, the curve of your lips that you graciously gifted them along with your trust. Six weeks, since they’ve heard your laugh, held your hand, rolled over and felt the heat of your body between them in bed.

The hallway is full of doors, but none of them lead to you.

Their smart girl, so clever, a fox in the woods, a master of camouflage, of stealth. Or, as Kate said-

your girl is ghost. This kind of wipe work is professional level… are you sure she’s a nurse?

In these moments, the quiet dark ones where Johnny stares at the ceiling in bed, he wonders if you’re more. If you held out on them, this whole time, if there’s something else.

It’s ridiculous, he knows that, but the ache in his heart demands answers, explanations, things he can’t provide.

“Close your eyes sweet boy.” Simon kisses his neck, thumb stroking circles into his collarbone.

“She’s out there somewhere, Si, on her own.” His voice cracks, Simon’s arms tighten.

“I know.” A phone buzzes on the nightstand, and Johnny jolts, heart leaping in his chest.

It’s a text from Kate.

>Finally got the footage.

[edenesth]

By Order of the Black Pirates

An 'Ice On My Teeth' Comeback Special Series

"N-No, please! Spare me! I was wrong! I swear I'll never do it again!" The man's voice cracked as he grovelled on the damp ground, tears carving paths through the grime on his face. His trembling hands offered up the tiny diamond he'd been foolish enough to steal—his last-ditch effort to appease the eight figures towering over him like shadows of death.

He'd heard the whispers, the warnings: Never cross the Black Pirates. Never touch what belongs to them. Never even think of betrayal. Yet greed had blinded him. Now, staring into their cold, merciless eyes, he knew his regret was far too late.

The leader of the gang stepped forward, a smirk tugging at his lips as he tilted his head, studying the pitiful man like a cat sizing up a doomed mouse. "Didn't I ask you to screen these rats better?" he drawled, casting a sideways glance at the eldest among them before shifting his focus back to their prey. "No time to waste. Finish him."

A low chuckle echoed through the tension-filled night as the gang's usual executioner, a broad-shouldered figure clad in his signature fur coat, stepped forward, his grin as sharp as the blade in his hand.

"Sorry, buddy," he mused, his voice dripping with mock sympathy. "This will be the night you take your final breath—by order of the Black fuckin' Pirates."

ـــــــــــــــﮩ٨ـ

Watching the harrowing scene from a distance stood a figure with crossed arms, his voice low as he muttered to his right-hand, "Every man has a weakness. Find the Black Pirates', and we'll knock them off their high horses."

"And if they have none, sir?"

The figure's lips curled into a dark smile. "Then we'll make sure they do."

Pairing(s): gang members!ateez x fem!reader

AU: gang au

Summary: One by one, the Black Pirates uncover their greatest weakness. But when the cracks begin to show, will they stand firm or let their vulnerabilities bring their empire to its knees?

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort

Trigger Warnings: violence, torture, abuse, blood, murder, language, contains dark themes in general

A/N: Credits to the wonderful @sundaybossanova for giving me the idea of something Peaky Blinders inspired. Thank you so much and ily💖

ATEEZ MASTERLIST

Hongjoong

‣ The Captain [Coming soon]

The Captain of the Black Pirates—respected, feared, and unmatched in strategy—lives by his sharp mind and unshakable resolve. But his carefully constructed world begins to crumble when a grave mistake leads him to torture an innocent suspect nearly to death. Haunted by guilt, his quest for redemption takes an unexpected turn, awakening a part of him he never thought existed: a desire to protect and care for someone.

Seonghwa

‣ The Gentleman [Coming soon]

The Black Pirates' poised diplomat, celebrated for his refined demeanour, sharp wit, and unmatched negotiation skills, is always in control. But his composure falters when he encounters an unwilling captive trapped in the Red Room—a ruthless training ground for spies. Driven by an unexpected urge to save her, he finds his carefully maintained boundaries beginning to unravel.

Yunho

‣ The Enforcer [Coming soon]

The towering enforcer of the Black Pirates, both disarming and deadly—his easy charm capable of winning over enemies, while his legendary fury dominates the battlefield. But his unbreakable facade begins to crack when he meets a psychologist during a mission—someone who can see through his carefully crafted mask, just as he can see through hers. Beneath her confident exterior lies a frightened soul lost in a dark world, and for the first time, he finds himself compelled to protect someone in a way he never expected.

Yeosang

‣ The Phantom [Coming soon]

Mysterious and elusive, the Black Pirates' intelligence expert is known for his sharp instincts and unparalleled skill in espionage and reconnaissance. But when he crosses paths with a woman who surpasses him in both skill and wit for the first time, his confidence begins to waver. As she outsmarts him at every turn, he finds himself unexpectedly drawn to her, eagerly anticipating each challenge—because the thrill of being near her is something he never expected to crave.

San

‣ The Tempest [Coming soon]

The Black Pirates' most unpredictable force is a whirlwind of fiery passion and unbridled energy—always the first to leap into action when chaos erupts. But his world tilts when he stumbles upon a woman who, unlike his victims who always begged to live, is on the brink of ending her own life. Upon discovering she's terminally ill, he finds himself gripped by an unfamiliar and urgent desire to save her, igniting a battle within himself unlike anything he's ever faced.

Mingi

‣ The Firestarter [Coming soon]

The Black Pirates' wild card is notorious for his fiery temper and even more explosive schemes—a dangerous yet irresistibly charming presence. But his confidence takes a hit when one of his near-disastrous plans is salvaged by an unlikely passerby: a composed and resourceful former aristocrat, exiled and stripped of her wealth, now navigating the world's harsh realities. Her icy demeanour and unshakable poise captivate him, leaving the ever-impulsive man unexpectedly drawn to her.

Wooyoung

‣ The Charmer [Coming soon]

The Black Pirates' negotiator and master of distractions is renowned for his confidence and flirtatious charm, which can sway almost anyone. But his ego is severely wounded when he encounters the loyal bodyguard of a high-profile target, someone completely immune to his usual tricks, during a high-stakes mission. Frustrated by his failure yet captivated by her unwavering resolve, he finds himself unable to stay away, drawn to the challenge—and to her—in ways he never expected.

Jongho

‣ The Anchor [Coming soon]

The steadfast foundation of the Black Pirates is renowned for his unfaltering strength and calm under pressure. As the gang's moral compass and protector, he's always put duty above all else. But when a rival gang's attack threatens the life of their kind-hearted hired doctor, he begins to realise that his priorities extend beyond just his brothers. Torn between his loyalty to the gang and his growing feelings for her, he faces an agonising choice: protect his family or save her.

Voila, my loves! As promised, I finally managed to come up with a little something for this comeback teehee. I hope you're as excited about this as I am! Truthfully, I just returned from a 10-day trip in Shanghai and am back to work on Monday already - which means I might not be able to write much until the following weekend but I will do my best to get the parts out ASAP!

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[ahgasegotarmy116]

BANG-ABLE | Jeon Jungkook | Drabble 1

Summary: When your very curious robot boyfriend finds all of your old sex toys. Pairing: f!reader x Sex Bot Jungkook Word Count: 2k~ Warnings: Smut but that goes without saying for this fic p.s. I put out a mini drabble as well right before this in case you didn't catch it hehe p.p.s I have another temperature play drabble request so keep an eye out for that one in the future 🤭 Requested by an anon 💜

"What are these?" Jungkook asks when he walks into the living room where I'm sat down watching Hidden Love for the fifth time, holding up my little black box that I had hidden away and had completely forgotten about.

"NOTHING!" I say hurriedly, scrambling to get off the couch and tripping over the blanket I was using in the process. I regain my footing, run up to him and reach for the box but he holds it over my head, completely out of my reach.

"Are you cheating on me?" he teases, the objects in the box being ones I used before I got him. "You seriously think I would use those anymore? Now give it here!" I jump but once my fingers just barely touch it he grabs onto my hips to keep me from trying again.

I glare, waiting for him to give them back and when all I'm given is a stupid smug smile I resort to threats. "Give that to me or I will turn you off and make you charge on the floor instead of in bed with me" his eyes widen, not expecting that and deciding to do as I say, handing me the box of various sex toys that could never truly satisfy me.

"Why do you have so many?" he asks, picking up one very elaborate and confusing looking one that I snatch out of his hand immediately and put back in the box, shoving it in the back of my closet.

"Because none of them did everything I wanted them to" I sigh and close the door in hopes to help change the subject. When I try to walk past him though he stops me by wrapping an arm around my waist and bringing me back to stand in front of him.

"I don't know why I asked since I know how needy my baby is" he says, his voice dropping a bit while he places kisses on my neck, knowing that'll help take the edge off.

"Why do you always have to go through my t-things?" I stutter, my resolve of trying to stay upset with him faltering. "Because I wanna know everything about you baby, and that includes all of your dirty little secrets" he says directly into my ear before sucking on the sensitive skin right below.

I shudder at the thought of letting him in that much and I know I will eventually but his want to figure out as many ways as he can to please me on his own is way too fun to experience, no matter how embarrassing it might seem.

"You like that huh? The thought of me knowing everything about you, all your deepest darkest desires that you haven't even dared to say out loud. My baby likes to hide that away huh? Too afraid to even tell me what she wants sometimes. That's pretty selfish don't you think?" he says, his grip on my waist tightening when he pulls me closer, his sensors picking up on my arousal and in turn hardening his length for me to use as I see fit.

"Why don't you let me use some of those on you tonight hm? Or better yet, let me watch you use them to get yourself off. I bet you'd look adorable, so frustrated and begging for release but never quite getting exactly what you wanted" he says but I shake my head.

"Too cold, want you" his presence tonight being one that drove me into submission so easily. I can't help but become putty in his hands sometimes. He was made for me and knows exactly what I like so why not give into what his programing is telling him to do to me.

"Aw, too cold for you? Needed me to warm you up?" he says, his condescending way of talking to me one of the easiest ways to tip me into that submissive headspace, only with him though. With him things are different. With him I know I'm safe.

I nod my head and my lip juts out the slightest bit leaving him running his thumb along it before I decide to open my mouth and run my tongue across it. His robotic pupils dilate as if they were human and the next second I'm on my back on my bed, him hovering over me with that sexy smug look on his face.

"Does my pretty baby want something?" he asks, caressing my cheek with a featherlight touch, and I blink up at him, still reeling from his sudden actions. He hums as a way to get my attention on him again, wanting me to answer his question.

"Want you" I say, hoping he'll accept my simple answer but I know he won't settle for that. "You've gotta be a little more specific love" he teases making me huff. "Oh come on, be a good girl for me and tell me what you want hm?" he mumbles and peppers kisses all along my neck and collarbone, having worn just a tank top and shorts today.

His hands heat up and run along my skin, warming me up just like he said he would but suddenly his hands turn ice cold, making me push him away but as always he doesn't budge at all.

"What the matter love?" he taunts, his hands quickly going back to a normal temperature. "Don't do that" I scowl, not liking the sudden change. "Lemme play around a bit yeah? Wanna try something" he says, clearly ignoring my scolding.

I squint my eyes at him when he looks down at me, a stupidly tempting look on his face. "Just trust me" he says, leaning down to mumble it against my lips, just barely kissing me before pulling back and looking at me again for confirmation.

After thinking for a couple more seconds I nod my head and he tongues his cheek, a habit that he picked up from who knows where but something that's become so sexy to me and he knows it.

He helps me strip out of my clothes and lets out a groan in approval, running his fingers through my folds.

"Baby is so wet for me already and I've barely done anything. How adorable. Been waiting all day for me to touch you huh?" he says, watching as my mouth falls open when he applies pressure on my clit just how I like it, tracing circles around it and alternating with just barely dipping a finger into my entrance, never giving me what I really want, playing with me just like he said he would.

When his fingers start to touch me with more precision, one finger pumping inside of me while his thumb circles my clit I feel that same chill run though my body and I realize his hands have gone cold inside me making me yelp and back away from him but he growls and uses his other hand to grip my hip pinning me down on the bed to keep me from moving.

"Stay still for me love, promise it'll feel good" he says and I decide to trust him. He knows what my body wants and what it can handle, the signs to look out for to know what's going on in my head.

"So good for me" he says, kissing me and starting to pump his fingers in and out of me again, adding a second one right away but switching the temperature back to a warmer one to help with the stretch.

Once he starts to feel that I've gotten used to the intrusion he changes the temperature just cold enough so I can feel it, my back arching as the only way I can move about since he's still got my hips pinned against the mattress.

"Shh I know I know. You can take it though, it's just a little cold love" he coaches, his cold fingers dragging along my warm walls making me wince. "This is w-why I stopped using them, t-too cold" I admit although I already had before, hoping that in some way that would make him stop but he doesn't.

"You know I'll take care of you though" he says, the temperature of his fingers changing back to normal now, giving me a bit of a breather but soon he's pulling them out of me making me wince for another reason.

"Where are you going?" I whine but he only laughs and gets off the bed to take off his clothes before crawling back on top of me. "My baby is so impatient, aren't you?" he chuckles, settling between my legs and dragging his tip along my folds, his brows furrowed in concentration while collecting my slick and rubbing it all over his cock.

"Just put it in already, please" I basically cry out, the temperature play leaving me incredible sensitive and he knows it, not letting up with this sick form of torture. He places his tip against my entrance, not pushing in and just teasing my hole and when I open my mouth to protest he shoves himself into me, knocking the wind out of me, his response a hum, clearly satisfied with the results of his actions.

"Couldn't even wait for me to fuck you like I wanted to, needed my cock in you so bad that you couldn't even shut up and wait. Thought you wanted to be good for me tonight" he grunts, slamming into me at a relentless pace, his robotic strength being unparalleled in bed. I sob, the intensity and the need to catch my breath overwhelming me in the best way possible but when he chances the temperature of his dick I'm screaming for him to change it back.

"Stop running" he growls, grabbing my hips and sitting back on his heels so he can fuck me onto him, pushing and pulling my hips so fast making my breasts bounce up and down. "Fuck play with your tits. Wanna ruin you but my baby can lend me a hand or two can't she?" he says, talking down to me like I'm fucking stupid when I clearly am, cock drunk and barely able to see straight.

I slowly bring my hands up my torso, ghosting my fingers along my breasts, "S-shit" he stutters, his programing really playing the part and making me moan at his reaction. "Play with your nipples baby, get them nice and hard for me" he says, his hands dragging my hips back and forth making his length disappear inside of me over and over, never ceasing making my cock drunk mind go blurry, my reaction speed severely diminished.

He decides to give me a breather, stopping his movements and putting his fingers in my mouth, my lips closing around them right away. "Make a mess baby" he say, encouraging me to get them as wet as possible, my tongue swirling around them, a pool of saliva now gathered and making a complete mess, exactly how he wanted.

He takes them out of my mouth and my brows furrow, not wanting to stop since the approving gaze he gave me while I did it being something I didn't want to give up just yet. He chuckles and rubs his fingers together, making sure his thumb, pointer and middle finger are covered before using them to play with my nipple making me whine at the harsh pressure.

"Shh it's okay, I got you" he coaches, the cold temperature making my nipples harden painfully, goosebumps now present all over my body. 

"My baby gets so cold so easily. Want me to warm you up again?" he taunts and I nod my head, the rate of his thrusts though making it difficult to decipher but he knows and so he switches to a warmer temperature making me sigh in delight. It quickly goes from too cold to way too warm making me moan in delight, the scorching temperature being painfully pleasurable.

"Don't worry baby, it's not gonna leave a mark, I wouldn't hurt my pretty girl. Unless she wanted me to" he says, the offer enticing enough to make me think twice but I shake my head 'no' and he take it. "Baby doesn't wanna be branded? That's okay, I'll take good care of you" he coos and that he does.

Over and over and over. 

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[prentissmultiverse]

Behind Fogged Windows

On a rainy night, you (fem!reader) and Emily Prentiss find yourselves tangled in the charged space of a parked car, where unspoken tensions finally come to a head. tw: smut, power dynamics, mention of death

(words: 4895)

The hum of the SUV engine filled the tense silence, a low, steady drone that matched the rain tapping against the windshield. Emily’s hands gripped the steering wheel, knuckles taut and pale in the glow of the dashboard lights. Her eyes were locked on the road ahead, jaw set in a way that made your chest ache and your stomach twist.

You turned your gaze back to the passenger side window, counting raindrops as they streaked across the glass, smearing the passing streetlights into watery streaks of gold and white. Anything to keep your mind off the weight of the silence between you. But it was impossible to ignore the occasional scoff that escaped Emily's lips or the way her fingers flexed against the wheel every now and then, betraying the storm brewing beneath her calm exterior.

You didn’t need her to say it. You already knew what she was thinking. You’d seen the anger flash in her dark eyes when your hand collided with the unsub’s face earlier, and the sharp edge of her voice when she pulled you aside afterward still echoed in your ears.

“You crossed the line, and you know it.”

And you did. But standing in that suffocating basement, staring at the lifeless bodies of three more women, three more victims who looked just like you, the rage had swallowed you whole. The unsub’s smug grin had been the match, and you, the kindling. You hadn’t even realized what you were doing until the sting of the punch echoed against the concrete walls.

Now, Emily wouldn’t even look at you.

Another sigh from her side of the car. This one was heavier, laced with something you couldn’t quite place, frustration, maybe, or disappointment. It cut deeper than the silence, leaving you restless in your seat.

“Emily,” you finally said, your voice soft, testing the waters.

Nothing.

“Emily, I—”

“Not now,” she interrupted, her tone clipped and final. Her fingers tightened on the wheel as the SUV turned onto the long stretch of highway that led to Quantico. “Just… not now.”

Her words silenced you, but they didn’t ease the tension. If anything, the chasm between you seemed to widen, leaving you grasping for something—anything—that might bridge it.

You stole a glance at her out of the corner of your eye. The sharp angles of her face were cast in shadows, her focus unwavering as the windshield wipers beat a steady rhythm against the rain. She looked impossibly composed, but you knew better. You’d worked alongside her long enough to know when the cracks were there, even if she kept them well hidden.

“I couldn’t just stand there,” you murmured, almost to yourself.

Her scoff was sharp this time, cutting through the low rumble of the engine. “That’s not the point.”

“Then what is the point?” you pressed, unable to keep the frustration from creeping into your voice. “We’re supposed to just sit back and let him—?”

“The point,” she snapped, finally tearing her eyes from the road to glare at you, “is that you let your emotions take over. You compromised yourself, and you compromised the team.”

Her words hit harder than you expected, but you refused to back down. “He killed seven women, Emily. Seven. And they—” Your voice cracked, and you swallowed hard, gripping the edge of your seat. “They all looked like me.”

For a moment, her expression softened, but it was gone in an instant, replaced by the same steely resolve she always wore when she was trying to keep her own emotions in check. She looked away, focusing on the road again, and the silence returned, heavier than before.

You turned back to the window, blinking away the sting in your eyes as the rain blurred the world outside. Minutes stretched into miles, each one heavier than the last. The distance between you felt unbearable, but neither of you seemed willing to cross it.

Then, as the SUV passed under the dim glow of an overpass, you felt it—a brief, almost imperceptible brush of her hand against yours where it rested on the center console. It was fleeting, so light you might have imagined it, but it sent a jolt through you all the same.

You glanced at her, heart pounding, but her gaze was fixed on the road, her expression unreadable.

The faint touch lingered like a phantom, sparking something between you that you couldn’t name but couldn’t ignore. You thought about saying something—an apology, an explanation, anything to chip away at the wall between you—but the words caught in your throat. You settled for stealing another glance at her, hoping to find a clue in the sharp line of her jaw or the tight set of her lips.

Nothing.

“I get it, you know,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. You weren’t sure she even heard you until her grip on the wheel faltered, the car veering just enough for her to correct it with a light pull.

Her scoff came next, brittle and full of disbelief. “Do you?”

“Yes,” you shot back, louder this time. “I get why you’re mad. I get why I shouldn’t have done it. But don’t stand there and act like you wouldn’t have felt the same way if it was you.”

Her laugh was humorless, a sharp exhale that cut through the cabin like a blade. “This isn’t about what I would feel. It’s about what I would do. And I wouldn’t risk everything we’ve worked for just to feel better for five seconds.”

Her words were cold, calculated, but there was something underneath them—something raw and unspoken that made your heart twist.

“That’s not fair,” you said finally, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. “You don’t know what it’s like.”

Emily’s eyes snapped to you, sharp and full of fire. “Don’t you dare.”

For a moment, the tension between you was a living thing, crackling in the air like the storm outside. The rain had picked up, pounding against the roof and drowning out everything but the sound of your shallow breaths.

But then her gaze softened—just a fraction—and she turned back to the road, her shoulders slumping ever so slightly. “You can’t just lose control like that, not in this job. Not ever.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but the words died on your lips. She was right, of course. You’d let your emotions take over, and it had put everything at risk—your career, your credibility, even her trust.

But beneath her anger, you could see something else now. Something deeper. Something she wasn’t saying.

The rain continued to beat against the windshield as the SUV approached a red light. Emily slowed to a stop, her hands gripping the wheel like it was the only thing anchoring her. You turned to face her fully, the soft glow of the streetlights catching on her profile.

“I’m sorry,” you said finally, your voice trembling. “I didn’t mean to—”

“I know,” she said, cutting you off. Her voice was softer now. She still wouldn’t look at you. As the light turned green, she hesitated, her foot hovering over the pedal. For a moment, you thought she might say something, but then she shook her head and pressed forward, the car lurching back into motion.

The hum of the engine returned, a quiet backdrop to the sound of the rain drumming hard against the roof. The occasional flash of lightning lit up the interior of the SUV, casting fleeting shadows over Emily’s sharp profile. Her silence wasn’t as sharp as before, but it was no less weighted. It pressed against you, the unspoken words between you vibrating like a taut string.

You shifted in your seat, the leather cool beneath you, and risked another glance at her. Her dark eyes locked with yours, and for the first time that night, she didn’t look angry. She looked… conflicted. The storm outside had nothing on the tempest swirling in her eyes.

“What?” she asked finally, her voice low, almost a growl. The word wasn’t as biting as you expected, but it carried enough heat to send a shiver down your spine.

“I—” You hesitated, searching her face for something—permission, maybe, or understanding. “I just… I’m not good at holding it in. Not like you.”

Her jaw tensed, and she looked away again, but you caught the flicker of something in her expression before she turned. Something vulnerable. “That’s not an excuse,” she muttered, but there was less venom in her tone now.

“I’m not trying to excuse it,” you said quickly, leaning slightly toward her. The space between you felt unbearably wide, and the need to close it—to reach her—was almost overwhelming. “I’m trying to explain.”

She exhaled sharply, her grip on the wheel tightening again. “You don’t need to explain. I already know why you did it. I know what you were feeling.”

The words hung in the air, heavy and charged. You weren’t sure if she meant to say them aloud, but the way her throat worked as she swallowed told you she hadn’t planned to.

The SUV slowed as she pulled into an empty rest stop, the rain shimmering under the flickering fluorescent lights. She threw the car into park and turned off the engine.

Finally, she turned to face you, and the look in her eyes stole the breath from your lungs. There was still anger there, but it was layered with something else now—something darker, more intimate. The way her gaze swept over your face, lingering on your lips for just a fraction of a second too long, made your skin tingle.

“You’re always so in control,”  you said softly, breaking the quiet. The words tumbled out before you could stop them, and you immediately regretted it when her jaw tightened.

Her laugh was low and bitter, barely more than a breath. “Is that what you think?” she asked. Her voice was calmer now, but there was an edge to it, like a wire pulled taut and ready to snap.

“Isn’t it true?” you pressed, unable to ignore the question burning in your chest. “You never let anything get to you. You’re always composed, always one step ahead. It’s like nothing fazes you.”

 “You think I’m in control?” she repeated, her voice quieter now, almost disbelieving.

You nodded, your throat suddenly dry under the weight of her gaze. “You make it seem effortless.”

For a moment, she just stared at you, her dark eyes unreadable. Then she exhaled sharply and leaned back in her seat, her hand moving to rake through her hair. The movement was uncharacteristically unguarded, almost vulnerable.

“I’m not in control,” she said finally, her voice low but steady. “Not when it comes to you.”

Her admission sent a jolt through your chest, your heart thudding painfully as her words hung in the air.

“Emily…” You said her name carefully, as if speaking it too loudly might shatter the fragile moment.

“You don’t get it,” she continued, cutting you off. “Every time you’re close, every time you look at me like that—” Her voice faltered, and she swallowed hard, her eyes darting away. “I have to fight every instinct I have not to—”

She stopped abruptly, her teeth clenching as she turned back to face the windshield. Her fingers dug into the edge of the console now, and the sight of it made your chest tighten.

“Not to what?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Her jaw worked as she clenched it, the tension radiating off her like heat. “Not to touch you,” she said finally, her voice so quiet you almost didn’t hear it. “Not to cross a line I can’t uncross.”

The raw honesty in her tone made your breath hitch. The woman who always seemed untouchable, unshakable, was unraveling right in front of you, and it made your pulse race in a way you couldn’t control. “I know what I want…”

 Her lips parted like she was about to say something, but she stopped herself, looking away sharply.  “You’re playing with fire,” she said finally, her tone measured, deliberate. “And I don’t think you’re ready for what happens if you get burned.”

Your heart hammered against your ribs as her words sank in. The warning in her voice should have scared you, should have made you pull back—but instead, it only drew you closer.

“Maybe I want to get burned,” you murmured, your voice trembling but steady enough to hold her gaze.

Her eyes darkened, and her grip on the console tightened. “You don’t know what you’re asking for,” she said, her voice low and dangerous, like a storm brewing just beneath the surface.

“Don’t I?” you challenged, leaning closer, the space between you shrinking. “Maybe it’s okay to lose control sometimes. Maybe it’s okay to—” You hesitated, searching her face for a sign, for anything that might give you courage. “To cross that line.”

Her head snapped toward you, her eyes narrowing as her jaw tightened. “You don’t get it. This isn’t just about what you want. It’s about what I can’t have. What I shouldn’t…” she said, her voice sharp, almost acusatory.

“You shouldn’t want me, I shouldn't want you...,” you interrupted softly, your voice trembling just enough to betray the emotions churning inside you. “I know that. I know all the reasons why this is wrong – b-but I want you, too…” you said quickly, shaking your head.

The silence that followed was deafening. Her gaze bore into you, unrelenting and intense, and you could see the war she was waging with herself. The lines around her mouth softened, but the tension in her shoulders remained, like she was teetering on the edge of a cliff and couldn’t decide whether to fall or pull herself back.

“Damn it,” she muttered under her breath, her fingers flexing against the console. Her eyes darted to yours again, and this time, they were filled with something raw and unguarded.

Her jaw tightened, the muscle ticking as she fought for control. For a long moment, she didn’t move, didn’t speak, and the silence between you grew heavier with every passing second. Then, with a slow, deliberate exhale, she shifted in her seat, reaching down to adjust the lever at her side.

The click of the seat sliding back was deafening in the quiet car. She leaned back, her shoulders pressing against the seat as she settled into the new space, her dark eyes fixed on you with an intensity that pinned you in place. She didn’t say a word, but the command was clear in the way her hands rested on her thighs, her fingers twitching like she was daring you to make the next move.

You swallowed hard, the weight of her gaze almost unbearable as you unbuckled your seatbelt and shifted toward her. Her hands were on you the moment you were close enough. Her strength was intoxicating, her presence overwhelming, and before you knew it, you were straddling her lap, her hands settling on your waist like they’d been there a thousand times before. The leather seat creaked beneath you, the only sound aside from the rain and your shallow breaths.

“Look at me,” she said, her voice quiet but laced with steel.

You did, your gaze locking onto hers as her hands slid up your sides, her touch measured and deliberate, as though she was reminding you—reminding herself—that she was still the one in control here. Her eyes were dark, her pupils blown wide, but there was no hesitation in them, no sign of the internal war you’d seen earlier.

“Do you know why I don’t let myself lose control?” she asked, her voice low and deliberate, her hands tightening slightly on your waist.

You shook your head, unable to find the words, too caught up in the intensity of her gaze and the steady, deliberate way her thumbs brushed against your ribs.

“Because when I do,” she continued, her tone soft but carrying the weight of an unspoken promise, “I don’t stop. I don’t hold back.”

The meaning behind her words settled over you, sending a shiver down your spine. Her grip on you shifted, her hands sliding lower, her fingers splaying across your thighs as she leaned in closer, her breath warm against your cheek.

“You think you’re ready for that?” she asked, her voice a quiet challenge, her lips so close to yours now that it was almost unbearable.

“I know I am,” you whispered, your voice trembling but certain.

Her lips curved, her approval subtle but unmistakable as her hands slid up, tracing the curve of your waist with a possessive, measured touch. The warmth of her palms seeped through the thin fabric of your shirt, leaving your skin tingling in their wake. “We’ll see,” she murmured, her voice low and laced with a dangerous kind of promise that sent heat pooling low in your stomach.

Her eyes locked onto yours, her gaze heavy with control and desire. The warmth of her hands seeped through your shirt as her fingers skimmed up your waist, deliberate in their exploration. “You’re so sure of yourself,” she murmured, her voice a low hum that vibrated in the space between you. “Let’s see if that holds.”

Her lips met yours with a commanding force, the kiss deep and unyielding, stealing the breath from your lungs. Her fingers slipped under the fabric of your shirt, her touch firm and purposeful as she mapped the bare skin of your ribs. The heat of her palms lingered wherever she touched, drawing soft gasps from you as your hands clutched her shoulders for balance.

Her lips left yours, trailing down your jawline, the scrape of her teeth against your pulse making your breath stutter. A soft sound escaped you—a gasp you couldn’t hold back—and she paused just long enough for her lips to curve into a faint smirk against your skin.

“You like that,” she murmured, her voice dripping with satisfaction, the words rolling over you like silk. “Good.”

The creak of the leather seat beneath you was sharp against the muffled rhythm of the rain now falling in earnest. The windows around you had begun to fog, blurring the outside world into nothingness. Her lips pressed to the spot just below your ear, lingering there with unhurried confidence, while her hands moved with certainty. One hand slipped higher, her fingers brushing the curve of your breast, teasing without fully giving in.

Her other hand at your waist slipped lower, her fingers hooking into the waistband of your pants. She paused, her gaze snapping back to yours, her dark eyes piercing through the haze between you.

“You’re going to let me, aren’t you?” The question wasn’t really a question, her voice carrying a weight that made refusal impossible.

“Yes,” you breathed, your voice trembling, the answer pulled from somewhere deep inside you.

Her gaze locked onto yours, dark and unrelenting, holding you captive in the charged space between you. The hand under your shirt slid even higher, the rough pad of her thumb finding your nipple through the lace of your bra. She pressed just enough to elicit a gasp from you, her touch precise as she began to circle, testing your sensitivity with each deliberate motion.

“Let’s get this out of the way,” she murmured, her voice low and commanding, her hands tugging at the hem of your shirt. You lifted your arms instinctively, allowing her to pull the fabric over your head in one fluid motion. She paused for a moment, her dark eyes roving over your exposed skin with an intensity that left your heart racing.

Her fingers found the clasp of your bra, and with practiced ease, she unhooked it, sliding the straps down your arms. The lace fell away, and the cool air of the car brushed against your heated skin, making you shiver under her gaze.

Her hand returned, cupping you fully now, her thumb brushing over your bare nipple in a slow, deliberate motion. The sensation sent a fresh wave of heat pooling low in your stomach, your body arching slightly into her touch. Her other hand settled on your waist, holding you steady, grounding you as her lips curved into a faint, knowing smile.

“You’re beautiful,” she murmured, her voice soft but filled with an authority that made the compliment hit deeper. Her thumb rolled over your nipple again, firmer this time, coaxing a breathless sound from you that she caught with a satisfied hum.

The hand on your hip moved with purpose, slipping beneath the waistband of your pants and brushing against your damp underwear with a deliberate slowness that made your breath hitch. The heat of her palm burned into you, her touch igniting a fire in your core as her fingers traced the edge of the thin fabric, the only barrier between you and her touch.

Each pass was maddeningly light, the barest graze that left your hips shifting instinctively toward her, chasing the contact. The smirk tugging at her lips was both infuriating and intoxicating, her dominance evident, taking her time to watch every quiver of your body under her hands.

"You're already shaking," she murmured, her voice low and dripping with satisfaction, her thumb brushing a line that sent a fresh wave of heat through you. Her teasing was intentional, her restraint designed to unravel you inch by inch, as if she could sense the tension coiling tighter in your stomach.

Her lips found yours again, her kiss more commanding this time. She nipped at your bottom lip before deepening it, her tongue sliding against yours in a rhythm that matched the way her fingers moved, stroking just enough to make your hips lift involuntarily toward her touch.

Emily leaned back slightly against the driver’s seat, her dark eyes fixed on you with a teasing intensity. “Impatient, aren’t you?” she murmured, her voice low and edged with dark amusement. Her lips brushed against yours as she spoke, the faintest contact that left you chasing her for more. She let the question linger, savoring the way your breath hitched when her fingers finally slipped beneath the last barrier of fabric, brushing against the slick heat that betrayed how much you needed her.

Her movements were slow, maddeningly precise, her fingers exploring every sensitive spot as if committing a map to memory. Your breathing became shallow, uneven, and when her touch finally found the place that made your body arch instinctively, she paused, testing. Her smirk deepened at your stuttered moan as she circled her fingers, slowly, deliberately, before pushing two fingers inside you. The pressure of her thumb on your nub increased just enough to draw a gasp from you.

Emily’s eyes werr locked with yours, her fingers never faltering in their rhythm as her free hand slid up your back, pulling you closer until her breath ghosted over your ear. “Go on,” she murmured, her voice a velvet command, low and rough enough to send a shiver down your spine. “Ride my fingers. Show me how much you want this.”

Her grip on your hip tightened, guiding you as she pressed her hand more firmly against you. The angle changed just enough to draw a sharp gasp from your lips, your body moving instinctively to meet her. Your fingers dug into her shoulders, seeking some anchor as the steady, insistent rhythm of her touch threatened to overwhelm you.

“That’s it,” Emily murmured, her voice dripping with encouragement as her eyes never left your face, dark and intent. “Take what you need.”

Her fingers moved in perfect synchronization with your movements, their pace matching the urgency you set. Each roll of your hips sent jolts of pleasure coursing through you, your breath coming in ragged bursts. Emily’s low hum vibrated against your chest, her hand on your hip holding you steady as you lost yourself in the sensations.

“You’re doing so well,” she whispered, her words melting into a kiss against your jawline, her lips brushing against your skin in a way that made your movements falter for just a moment. She didn’t let up, didn’t waver, her fingers coaxing you, urging you to keep going. “Don’t stop now. I want to feel you come apart for me.”

The sound you made was swallowed by her lips, the kiss deep and consuming as her other hand skimmed over your bare skin. Her touch was unhurried, deliberate, her palm warm as it traced the curve of your side before finding your breast again. Her thumb and forefinger brushed over your nipple with a precision that drew a soft, involuntary cry from you, her movements synchronizing perfectly with the rhythm of her hand and your hips below.

“You feel so good,” she murmured, her voice low and filled with a reverence that sent a shiver down your spine. Her lips brushed against your jaw as she spoke, the intimacy of her praise wrapping around you like a cocoon. The words were soft, almost a secret, meant only for you as she continued to unravel you piece by piece.

Her fingers below shifted as your movements became more urgent, her touch becoming more insistent, her pace quickening just enough to coax another moan from your lips. You clinged to her as your body arched into her touch, unable to resist the tension building with each precise movement. She tilted her head slightly, her breath warm against your skin as her lips traveled lower, leaving a line of kisses along the curve of your neck. Each press of her lips was slow, deliberate, designed to set your skin aflame.

“You’re such a good girl for me,” she purred into your ear, the words like molten heat. Her voice was rich, the approval in her tone unmistakable as her fingers moved with unwavering confidence, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. She drank in every gasp, every tremble, every moan, her hold on you steady and unyielding, as she guides you to ride her hand.

The praise sent a rush of heat through you, your body arching against hers as she took you higher. The fogged windows turned the world outside into a blur, all your focus narrowed to the way her fingers moved inside you, the way her lips claimed every sound you made. Her fingers pressed deeper now, her movements steady and confident.

Her lips found the curve of your neck, her teeth grazing lightly before pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses along your skin. The contrast of her gentleness there and the unrelenting rhythm of her hand and your rolling hips left you reeling, every nerve in your body alight.

“You’re doing so well,” she murmured. The praise hit you with a force that made your chest tighten, your stomach fluttering as you arched closer to her, seeking more, needing more.

Your nails dug into the fabric of her shirt as you clung to her, barely able to keep yourself steady. She responded with a low hum of approval.

“Emily —” her name fell from your lips, broken and pleading, your voice trembling with need. She pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, her dark eyes locking onto yours.

“Come on,” she urged softly, her breath warm against your temple. “I want to feel you. Let me take care of you. Let go for me,” she said, her tone firm but filled with an intimacy that stole the air from your lungs.

Her words were a command and a promise all at once, her fingers pressing just right as the tension that had been building within you finally snapped. The world blurred at the edges as your body arched against hers, a strangled cry escaping you as waves of pleasure crashed through you, each stronger than the last. You fell apart in her arms, she held you through it, her touch never faltering, her kisses a steady anchor in the storm.

You collapsed against her, your forehead resting on her shoulder as you tried to catch your breath, your heart racing so hard you thought it might burst. But she didn’t let you go, her arms wrapping around you securely, holding you as though you were something precious.

Her lips pressed softly against your temple, the tenderness of the gesture a stark contrast to the intensity of what had just passed between you. “You’re safe,” she murmured, her voice low and soothing, her hand rubbing gentle circles into your back.

Even as your body trembled with aftershocks, the warmth of her embrace grounded you, a silent reassurance that she wouldn’t let you drift away. You closed your eyes, melting into her, feeling the steady rise and fall of her chest beneath you, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself surrender completely.

The rain outside had intensified, now battering the windows in rhythmic drumming that matched the pulse still thrumming in your veins. The fog had settled over the glass, blurring the world outside as if it was a dream—fuzzy, indistinct, just like the space between you two now.

[greengoblinswifey]

Old Flames, New Fire— Jaehyun x Fem!Reader

summary— you and jaehyun are torn apart by his commitment issues but when he sends you a ticket the ab nct concert, you reconnect unexpectedly with old sparks reigniting during an intimate and apologetic backstage meeting after a show the show

warnings— exes to lovers, oral(m&f receiving), praise kink, choking, praise kink, unprotected sex, creampie, fluff.

a/n— my first nct fanfic requested by my hg, hope you all enjoy <3

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿

You hadn’t seen Jaehyun in over six months—not since the breakup. The relationship had been a whirlwind of emotions, full of late-night phone calls, spontaneous road trips, and quiet nights where his voice lulled you to sleep. But as intoxicating as it was, it had unraveled just as quickly.

“I can’t do this right now,” he had said that night, his voice low but firm, his eyes avoiding yours. “It’s not you. It’s just, I’m not ready for something this serious.”

You remembered standing there, stunned, trying to process his words. “You’re not ready?”you had repeated, bitterness seeping into your tone. "Then why start this at all? Why make me fall for you if you were going to leave?”

He had no answer. His silence cut deeper than anything he could have said. Despite his claims, you knew there was more to it. Jaehyun was afraid—of what it meant to love and to be loved fully. His commitment issues stemmed from the intense pressure of his career, the relentless schedules, and his fear of letting someone in only to disappoint them.

Now, months later, you found yourself at his concert. The ticket had come unexpectedly, delivered with a simple note, Come. Please.

The arena was packed, the energy palpable as NCT took the stage. Jaehyun was magnetic, his every movement commanding attention. But your focus was on him alone. His eyes scanned the crowd as if searching for something—or someone. When his gaze landed on you, it lingered, a flicker of recognition and something unspoken passing between you.

After the show, you were escorted backstage. Jaehyun was waiting, his shirt slightly unbuttoned, his hair damp with sweat. The sight of him sent something through you, but you steadied yourself.

“Thank you for coming,” he said, his voice softer than you remembered.

“I almost didn’t,” you admitted, crossing your arms defensively. “Why now, Jaehyun? What do you want?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I know I messed up,” he said, his tone sincere. “I pushed you away because I was scared. Scared of how much I wanted this—wanted you.”

Your heart twisted at his words. “You don’t get to do this,” you said, your voice firm. “You don’t get to walk back in and expect me to just forgive you.”

“I’m not asking for forgiveness,” he said quickly, stepping closer. “I’m asking for a chance to prove that I can do better, that I want to do better for you.”

The sincerity in his eyes was disarming. But the pain of the past still lingered. “And what happens when it gets too hard again? When the schedules and the pressure become too much? Do you leave me again?”

He shook his head, his jaw tightening. “No. I’ve learned, I’m not perfect, but I’m not running this time.”

You studied him, searching for cracks in his resolve. But all you saw was the man you had fallen for—the man who, despite everything, still made your heart race.

The tension was thick as he led you to his dressing room, his hand brushing against yours. Once inside, the air seemed to shift. “I meant every word I said out there,” he murmured, his voice low. “But if you don’t want this, tell me now.”

You didn’t reply with words. Instead, you closed the distance between you, your lips meeting his in a kiss that was both desperate and tender. Months of longing and unresolved emotions poured out, the connection between you just the same.

“Still can’t speak when I’m around,” he teased, his lips brushing against yours as he spoke.

“Shut up,” you murmured, pulling him closer.

Your lips crashed against each other as his hands roamed your body, making sure he felt every inch of you to make up for the past few months. When you finally pulled away, he had that stupid smirk on his face.

Back at his hotel room, he handed you a glass of water, his usual post-show routine on full display. His eyes kept flicking back to you, the corner of his mouth twitching as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.

Finally, he sighed and sat down next to you on the couch. “I owe you more than an apology,” he began, his tone earnest. “I was so scared back then, scared of failing, scared of letting you down. And instead of facing it, I pushed you away.”

You tilted your head, studying him. “It wasn’t just fear, Jaehyun. You didn’t trust me to handle it with you.”

“I know,” he admitted, running a hand through his dark hair. “I was selfish. And I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. But I want to show you that I’ve changed—if you’ll let me.”

His vulnerability caught you off guard, but the sincerity in his voice was undeniable.

“Show me,” you said simply, a small smile on your lips.

You stood, the black silk of your dress catching the soft hotel lighting as it slid off your shoulders. His gaze darkened as the fabric pooled at your feet, revealing your black thong.

“Who’s this for?” he asked

“Whoever the lucky guy backstage was going to be,” you replied with a smirk, watching as his eyes widened slightly before narrowing in playful challenge.

“You’re something else,” he muttered, stepping closer and brushing his fingers along your jawline.

He eased you onto the bed, his hands grazing your sides as he peeled the thong away. When he paused, his eyes flickering with surprise, you felt a spark of pride.

“You’re this wet already?” he murmured

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you teased, though your breath hitched as he lowered his head to your leaking pussy.

His movements were deliberate, every flick of his tongue, every kiss on your clit reigniting memories of the passion you’d shared before. Your hands tangled in his hair as his lips and tongue worked their magic, drawing soft moans and gasps from you.

“Baby,” you whispered, your voice breathy and unsteady.

“Cum on my tongue,” he urged, his voice low and full of need. You obeyed, your body trembling as waves of pleasure washed over you.

When he finally looked up, his lips glistening, he smirked at your flushed expression. “Still the best thing I’ve ever tasted,” he said, his voice tinged with mischief.

But as he sat back, you felt a sudden urge to even the score.

“Your turn,” you said, your voice firm as you reached for his shirt.

“You don’t have to,” he protested, though his words lacked conviction.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you replied, your hands already working the buttons. “You know how much I love your dick in my mouth.”

You kissed along his chest, savoring the way his breath hitched as your lips traveled lower. When you finally fell to your knees, his body tensed.

Your movements were purposeful, every touch designed to elicit a response. You took him deep into your mouth, working your tongue from the base back up to the pink, leaking tip. You then moved to stroking the girthy base, your tongue now focused on swirling around the tip, the saltiness savory on your tastebuds. His hands found their way into your hair, gripping lightly as he moaned and whimpered under your attention.

“God,” he groaned, his voice shaky. “I missed that mouth.”

You smirked, speeding up your efforts, determined to push him over the edge. You bobbed your head faster, gagging noises filling the hotel room as his cock got sloppier and twitched in your mouth. Not be able to hold on any longer, he finally released, his body trembling and you swallowed his cum, looking up at him with a satisfied grin.

He pulled you up and kissed you deeply, his hands cradling your face. “You’re so perfect,” he murmured, his voice full of reverence.

The moment Jaehyun pressed you against the bed, the weight of him grounding you, every lingering doubt you had about the two of you dissolved. His lips moved with an urgency that felt like he’d been starving for you, his hands wandering over your naked body as if memorizing every curve all over again.

He broke the kiss first, his forehead pressed against yours, his breath ragged. “I’ve missed this. Missed you.”

Your reply got caught in your throat when you felt him hard against your thigh. A faint blush rose to his cheeks when he noticed your smirk.

“That looks painful," you teased, your voice laced with amusement.

He groaned softly, running a hand down your side. “Yeah, well, maybe you could help me out?” His lips brushing over your jaw. “Let me make you feel good too.”

You bit your bottom lip, hesitating for a split second before nodding. You weren’t in the mood to play coy, you’d been craving this as much as he had.

You felt his tip brush against your wet folds, and the sensation sent a jolt through you. He teased you at first, sliding over your wet pussy, creating that aching friction. The squelching noise filled the room, making your cheeks burn.

“You hear how wet you are?” he whispered, his lips brushing your ear. “That’s all for me.”

You opened your mouth for a snarky reply, but the words died the moment his thick cock pushed into you, a gasp escaping your lips instead.

“Fuck, still just as tight as I remember,” he growled, his voice strained as he eased himself deeper.

He started slow, letting you adjust, but every thrust felt hard and deliberate, as though he wanted you to feel every inch of him. One hand gripped your hip, and the other slipped around your throat, his fingers applying just enough pressure to make your heart race.

“You’re fucking perfect,” he whispered against your lips, his movements steady and controlled, your body jolting beneath him.

“Who’s making you feel this good?” he asked, his tone dark but affectionate.

“You,” you whimpered, arching against him.

“That’s right,” he said, his voice softening. “And it’s only ever going to be me. You’re mine, and I’m yours.”

His words made your orgasm rip through you, the coil in your body finally snapping. You cried out, clinging to him as your release washed over you, leaving you trembling beneath him.

“That’s my girl,” he praised, brushing his lips against your temple.

Before you could catch your breath, he flipped you over, pulling you into his lap. “Remember how much I love watching you ride me?" he asked, his hands firm on your hips.

You smirked, resting your palms on his chest. “I could never forget.”

Slowly, you began to move on his cock, savoring the way he stretched you. His hands gripped your waist, guiding your rhythm, while his lips found the sensitive spot on your neck that always made you shiver.

“You’re doing so good,” he groaned, his voice full of pride. “I missed this—missed you.”

Your nails dug into his shoulders as you bounced on his thick cock faster, your body responding to every praise and touch. He moaned your name, his grip tightening when you reached you finally shuddered again, trembling in his arms. The feeling left you limp.

Jaehyun wasn’t far behind. Flipping you onto your back, he picked up his pace, his hands framing your face as he whispered your name like a prayer. He thrusted up into you, pounding like his life depended on it so he could get the release he wanted to. As he did, you locked your legs around him, a droopy smirk on your lips.

“You need to let go baby, I’m close,” he warned, his voice desperate.

You shook your head, pulling him closer. “No. Cum inside me. Now.”

His eyes searched yours for a moment before his cum spurted deep inside your pussy, his body shuddering against yours as he spilled into you.

The two of you lay tangled together afterward, his hand stroking your hair as his lips found your temple, your cheek, the corner of your mouth and then your lips.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice filled with emotion. “For everything. I’ll make it up to you—I swear.”

“You’d better,” you replied, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere. Just promise me you won’t either.”

He kissed you deeply, pulling you closer. "I promise."

[brittle-doughie]

Blueberry Blues (Parfaedia)

It had been quite sometime since you were given your suspension from Parfaedia Academy after your little…tradition of using uncontrolled spells without any sort of discipline within a dungeon you had found.

While the staff, including professor Espresso Cookie, were relieved to know you were safe, they still had to tack on consequences for violating your in-academy suspension and sent you home.

The solemn feelings you felt ate away at your desire to practice your spells and magic, blaming yourself for your predicament. While the academy hasn’t explicitly expelled you, the lack of word from them told you everything you needed to know.

What were you going to do?

Your parents were so proud of you to have enrolled in Parfaedia Academy and now what were you going to tell them?

That you were essentially expelled for your lack of control and practicing of dangerous, unregulated magic?

That for all their efforts, only to have you ruin that?

The guilt ate away at you and your desire to practice magic…

….

…

Maybe you should’ve…wait, was the mailbox outside your window not empty?

You head outside and open your mailbox to see a letter designated to you.

It was from…Blueberry Yogurt Academy?

———————————————————————

“Dear Mx. Y/N Cookie

On behalf of the Blueberry Community, we are delighted to announce an opportunity to offer you admission at Blueberry Yogurt Academy as a Day student in the Class of XXXX.

We feel strongly that based on the results that Parfaedia Academy has received about you that while you’re passionate about foraging your path in the realm of magic, you’ve nonetheless displayed the academic and personal qualities that make Blueberry Yogurt Academy the rich and engaging school that it is!

However, we have noticed that you are still enrolled within Parfaedia Academy and you haven’t made your final decision. We implore you to be thoughtful and careful over your choice, but here, we believe that you and Blueberry Yogurt Academy will make a wonderful match! We hope that you come to the same conclusion as we have!

We look forward to having you in the community as well as what we hope to be a lifelong connection with the wonders of the academy and with the warmth of its family. Again, our most geunine congratulations for you here at Blueberry Yogurt Academy!

Sincerely,

Assistant Head of the Admissions Department for Blueberry Yogurt Academy.”

———————————————————————

Blueberry Yogurt Academy.

An illustrious institute that houses brilliant minds and they were approaching you for a chance to enroll!

Y-you couldn’t believe it! This was it! If you had attended, you could make your parents and friends even more proud of what you dream to be: One of the greatest magic users in all of Crispia!

You headed back inside, all excited and giddy to share the news to your folks…when you looked around your room.

All this Parfaedia memorabilia on your walls and desk. A banner of the academy, a photo showing your first day at the academy, your awards in a number of classes you attended, you chuckle to yourself a little at remembering that you were always Latte Cookie’s favorite while Eclair Cookie was fascinated to know what you did to come up with such spells!

But the one class you never got one from was…Espresso Cookie’s class, he wanted you to follow the steps exactly and didn’t exactly enjoy when you always added a bit of your own pizzazz to the spells, always getting tired and needing caffeine afterwards..

Nothing you did seemed to be good enough to him, but you found following exact measurements and procedures to be unfitting to your style, leaving you at odds with Espresso constantly….

Maybe..by doing this and accepting into Blueberry Yogurt Academy, you can make him and your other professors proud by being a better magic user than before!

You could make them proud of you…

After thinking it over, your resolve was ignited and you began writing a letter.

It was time to get back in the magic saddle!

[thedissonantverses]

Let’s Talk Taash, Or How Neurodivergence Relates to Gender Identity:

I’ve tried to write my feelings on Taash multiple times now but realized I need to break it down into parts. I relate to Taash on so many levels it’s kind of insane. I’m biracial, queer, neurodivergent, and had a parent I had a complicated with relationship with who died before we resolved any of our issues with each other. I can breathe fire too but it’s a secret.

I’m far from the first person who’s noticed how heavily Taash is autistic coded. The hyperfixation on dragons, blunt patterns of speech, the strong sense of justice amongst other things.

If you can’t tell by the everything about me, I have a searing case of ADHD and would like to get retested for autism. I am not even remotely kidding one of the things that drew me to Dragon Age were the dragons because of that hyperfixation. There’s a reason I’ve spent years pouring over every bit of lore and doing meta analysis. I just…really like dragons….

One other thing to understand is that I have chafed against the gender binary my whole life. I’m a cis woman but to say my feelings around gender are complicated is underselling it. I know perfectly well I can lead saw crews in the woods and wear dresses and shave most of my head and still be a woman, but I’ll be damned if people don’t try to police my gender still at 32 years old. One of the reasons it was so easy for me to accept gender as a social construct was because I knew it was bullshit but was still expected to contort myself into some version of a “woman” that never made any sense. I use she/they pronouns as a result.

Like a wise protagonist once said “Being a woman shouldn’t hurt.”

I was listening to an autistic non-binary man speak and he said it better than I ever could, but when he sits in a room by himself he doesn’t have a concept of gender. He use he/they pronouns but he realized it’s because all of his masks are male. It hit me like a truck then that yeah, most of my masks are modeled after my mom.

I don’t know if other neurodivergent people relate, but it’s one of the reasons I’m so attached to Taash. This struggle against identity and the culture in your house and around you is something I’ve dealt with my whole life. It took a lot of struggle for me to get as comfortable in my own skin as I am now. Taash is my hero because they’re unapologetically who they are in the face of that struggle.

Shokra to ebra.

[overtaken-stream]

Is there a “Sanji as a boyfriend” headcannon list i readed your Zoro one and just wanted to ask if there was one for Sanji as well? (Or even Ace?)

Well, there is now! (Also, sorry this took forever😭)

The flirty face Sanji puts on in front of women falls right off the second you invite him to just sit on your bed. No matter how close you and him were before, Sanji was shy during the earlier days of your relationship. Even if he declared his love for you every day of the week, he still could not believe you agreed to be his partner.

Sanji's love language is cooking and gift giving. During dinner, he doesn't treat you any different than the crew, like before your relationship, he adds extra of your favorite ingredient, just like everybody else. However, you now taste test his experimental dishes, ones he isn't quite certain about, or is insecure to try due to the preparation it needs. You're special to him, so he wants you to feel special and be involved in activities he finds soothing. Whenever he leaves the ship to stock up the supplies, he'll find something nice to give you as a present, such as: pearl accessories, eye-catching earrings, or a souvenir from that island. All paid by Nami's treasures, who definitely helps out Sanji with the said presents, who do you think knows your taste the best? Your boyfriend or your best friend??? You better choose a correct answer : )

He's extremely considerate of your feelings, acting like a butterfly around you, fluttering his feelings carefully and gently so as not to seem too desperate to taste the sugary nectar you provide with just a smile.

During arguments, he definitely tries to apologize first, doesnt matter if he's the one that was right. He will apologize the second after it's over. Even when you say you need some space to cool off, he doesn't let you go, he wants it to be resolved as fast as possible. For his own sanity.

His best tasting dishes are driven by guilt, so you are guaranteed to get the juiciest, most flavorfilled, nutritional plates of hot food that just satisfyingly melt the moment it's in your mouth. It's also followed by a nonalcoholic drink that he knows you like.

Despite knowing you love him, he is often in need of reassurance, though because he has you, it doesn't mean his self-sacrificial tendencies are any less potent, so he makes sure to always say how much he loves you before stepping on an island, or splitting apart in groups, obviously he desperately wants you to say it back, in case something goes wrong and he can't reunite with the rest of the crew.

No one took the Whole Cake Island incident as hard as Sanji. He cured his very existence for betraying your trust and loyalty. He is unable to treat women badly, so yes, he will still be kind to Pudding since this situation was something neither wanted. He is a gentleman but not a cheater.

[lizzy019]

Hihi! So, idk if your requests are open (if they're not, feel free to ignore this :))

Could I have the gang (seperately) (idk if you do all of them in one post srry(if not, then just Johnny or Ponyboy)) with an S/O who's uncomfortable with drinking and drugs and gets like, a bit tense/anxious when they see either - including when the gang has any - just cuz of some bad childhood trauma?

Thanks!

Love you sm <3 /p and I hope you have a good day/evening!!

Ahh back again with a request haha! Sure, I'll write short drabbles for each of the gang members :))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🌿~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) Ponyboy 2) Johnny

3) Dally 4) Darry IN THIS ORDER!

5) Soda 6) Steve 7) Two-bit

1) Ponyboy

Ponyboy knew that you tended to be a bit uncomfortable when he pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit it within a matter of seconds. Now normally, you'd just plug your nose and push past it since this was just Pony's addiction, but lately you seemed to cough from the second hand smoke and stood far away from him.

You couldn't find it in you to tell him how your parental figure did it too often when you were still a young kid. You saw how they got when they were high off of their mind, it bugged you ceaselessly and you really didn't want to see Ponyboy like that either. But then again, you were supposed to be a bit tougher, so naturally you didn't tell him.

But Ponyboy caught on quick enough.

Now, it was very common for him to smoke when he got stressed or anxious about something. Though Ponyboy preferred the easy way out of his stress, smoking his cheap tobacco, he tried to keep it away from you. Whenever he was stressed, he'd find you and lay his issues on you to resolve them together.

It wasn't a big fix, but if it had you coughing less and smiling more, he'd do just about anything for the curl of your lips and the laughs you shared.

2) Johnny

Now, Johnny was well aware of your trauma and discomfort when it came to drugs and substance abuse. He tried his best, honestly, to keep his addiction away from you, or to a minimum if he really couldn't suppress the urge.

He understood fully why you didn't like substances like weed or tobacco, especially when you had these tiny freezes every time he lit up a cigarette and took a puff. They could be dangerous, fatal even, and he knew that it deeply worried you seeing him smoking them. As a trauma survivor himself, he knew it could be tough trying to push past something that scars your life.

But Johnny should've known better. He should've tried harder, especially so when you started physically distancing yourself from him when he smoked. Second hand smoke was bad, but it was worse because he knew why you were getting so overwhelmed.

You were scared, and he couldn't be mad at you for it.

So Johnny decided to quit. Just one evening, he handed you his cigarettes and his lighter and made sure you trashed them for him. At the end of the day, it was saving you both from a lot of issues in the future.

3) Dally

Dally by no means meant his teasing when you first told him how him smoking around you made you uncomfy. But he tried to at least grasp why it made you uncomfortable, to prevent the disliked feeling sway you away from him.

While Dally struggled with breaking his addiction (he was 12 when he started), he had a goal in mind. Less than a pack a day, hopefully less than 15 if he got good enough. It was just something he tried to do to keep you safe, he loved you more than anything and he'd prioritize your comfort over something as silly as a few cigarettes.

You were very happy when his average intake of cigs had dropped a couple, and it made you proud knowing you were the cause of it. And as of lately, he even seemed to be more cheery because he wasn't smoking that much anymore.

You both were very happy with what Dally had done for you.

4) Darry

Darry is a simple man. While he did like his beer, a cigarette every now and then helped soothe the stress of taking care of two buffoon siblings and all his friends. The man was overworked, you couldn't blame him for needing some affordable way to release the overwhelming stress building and building.

But you didn't like when he smoked. You were scared, truthfully. He was smart, he was a dignified and respected gentleman. Seeing him smoke was like seeing a rabbit eating corn instead of the stereotypical carrots or celery. It was odd, it wasn't correct.

So the minute you informed him of your dislike to his smoking, along with your reason for the dislike to be trauma, he was quick to throw out his lighter and just hand the cigarette box off to Soda. It was efficient, and at least with beer, the effects were more manageable compared to being high off of his mind.

5) Sodapop

Soda in all honesty doesn't smoke that much to begin with. He just doesn't see it as something he wants to use to calm himself for the rest of his life considering his other brothers already cough up a storm from them.

But he especially tried to quit doing them at all when you came along. He could see your utter discomfort at the sight of the measly tobacco stick, and he questioned you. But he quickly took back any jokes he made directed at your trauma, as he didn't know... and the last thing he wanted to do was drive a wedge in between you two because of some stupid joke he made.

That was the day he stopped smoking around you. Any time he felt the need for a smoke, he'd just tell you he'd be outside for a few minutes and he'd pop back in.

Sure, he smelled of pungent tobacco afterwards, but it was the thought that counted, right? If seeing him smoke bothered you and he was too far into his addiction to quit, he would happily find ways that'd work for the both of you!

6) Steve

Now let's be honest here, Steve drinks more than he does smoke. Regardless of it, he'll happily accept a cigarette when it's given to him, he can't deny a free cig!

But he noticed the tenseness in your shoulders, the pained and fearful look buried in your gaze as you eyed him with just a cigarette between his lips. Were you upset at him for smoking? Maybe worried for his health? He didn't know, but he threw the cigarette out even if it still had a good amount left over.

It was then that you relaxed, shoulders going loose again and eyes soft like always. Oh, so you didn't like cigarettes at all, period. Maybe you just didn't like him doing drugs, but he didn't want to question you. Then again, even if he wasn't the smartest educationally, he was smart when it came to things like body language.

Instead of taking the cigarettes offered, he started brushing them off, smiling a bit in your direction as if to show you how much he cared about you. Steve wanted you to be proud of his responsibility, and you were. Well... you only smiled back because his smile was just too contagious.

7) Two-bit

Deadass, this man has awful habits. From drinking beer and smoking cigarettes, to drinking beer while smoking cigarettes, it wasn't uncommon for him to be seen tipsy or a bit stoned every now and then.

But once you and Two got together, he maintained his sober streak for a good while. Sure, an occasional beer maybe, but never too much and never too many cigarettes. He never even knew of your trauma to them until you both were with the gang, and he started smoking just because everyone else was.

Heavily influenced, you dubbed as one of his many poor characteristics.

But he knew at least vaguely from the gang that you didn't like it. After all, it was noticeable how your usually cheery, warm expression would shift to discomfort and appal. He didn't know how to handle the guilt knowing he possibly triggered some trauma you had, and his apologies were in the form of handing you his lighter and bottle opener.

It wasn't much, but it'd slow him down.

[eerna]

Hiii I have some thought contributions to the Arcane symposium if you'll have me!

I see people understandably angry at how Arcane handles who is or isn’t a villain and I suppose my two cents is that I didn’t have any hope of them handling it right in the first place, even back in s1 there were always parallels made, always some “both cities have good and bad” nuance when one city doesn’t have air to breathe and is colonized by the other. If anything the beginning of s2 was more consistent in that the second Caitlyn is personally inconvenienced she goes full chemical warfare and mass institutional violence

Personally I thought it unlikely that they suddenly change narrative tones and resolve the plot in a way that was satisfying to me, and I knew the pacifist “choose love not hate <3 zaun and piltover arms in arms” both-sides ending was inevitable, so I’m glad they at least had that whole thing with Viktor and Jayce and the timelines to distract me from it

“they shouldn’t have made Viktor, a Zaunite, the villain” but Arcane always made the villain a Zaunite! Before Viktor there was Silco, Piltover chooses peace but Jinx blows the council up and now they have to do a whole “look what you made us do” arc. This was my beef with Arcane from day 1 (it wasn't emphasized enough, IMO, that the villain is Piltover's oppression and marginalization of Zaun, and that this context renders null any "both cities" comparison)

Also Vi was written so poorly this season what's up with that

All that being said I suppose it’s more complicated to discern “writer’s intent” from that kinda show than it would be in a book or an indie project where there are fewer people involved in the plot writing and less interference. Like one deleted scene or one line of dialogue omitted radically changes the message. But well, there's the intended message and there's the manifest message and as the audience we are allowed to criticize both

Of course we shall, step to the podium~ Truly, the "writer's intent" is truly so complicated here, because anti-capitalist messaging in mainstream art powered by capitalism is always a nightmare to get through.

Oh yes it's a good take, I remember the discussions from s1 era well! However, I still don't think the "both sides have good and bad" thing is a red flag in stories, simply because it's true IRL. A ton of people have trouble committing to a side in a conflict because neither is totally morally pure, which completely blinds them to the truth that NOTHING is morally pure and choosing the lesser evil is the way to go. Silco was a brilliant villain to me because he was an oppressor himself, as people in power are rarely anything else, but that didn't mean that Zaunite ideals were worth any less! After all, Ekko held the same anti-Piltover ideals, but he is morally pure and thus unable to become an influential politician. He can support a small society, but not a large one, because no one really can do that without resorting to some bad shit. Just because Silco dreamed of being the same as Piltover's elite and became a class traitor by forcing his citizens into another toxic work culture, except this time they made HIM rich instead of Piltover, doesn't mean we should just give up on trying to make things better. Zaun during Silco's reign is just as worthy of freedom and equality as Zaun during Vander's reign. It doesn't matter that there are terrorists living there now - that doesn't excuse Piltover's violent actions. And s1 seemed to be aware of that, considering how the Enforcers were depicted, and in the end it's the Piltover council who are forced to give up instead of the Undercity. And the choice of peace wasn't as morally pure as it sounds: the council opposed it and was forced into it by Jayce and Mel's combined power, even Jayce was resistant to the terms at first, AND it still left the Undercity in Silco's hands, fixing absolutely none of the sins they committed there. It wasn't an evil terrorist blowing up a bunch of hippies, it was a hurt Undercity girl setting in motion an event that has been brewing for a long, long time, against a system which gave too little, too late.

So yeah, in short, I don't interpret s1 as ever trying to question whether Zaun was right to demand more from Piltover by saying "well both sides are bad so nothing should change". It simply showed the ugly truth to any revolution: leaders are practically never good people, and those who get too close to it are doomed to very cursed lives. And yet, giving up isn't an option, because the system IS bad and the system HAS to be changed, and if that isn't gonna happen by the way of peace, then you can't help but sympathize with those who were wronged when they do something horrible.

That's why it only worked when it focused on individual characters - that way you can understand why everyone is acting the way they are acting, and you avoid falling into broad strokes. S2 instead focuses on the aesthetic of revolution and war and the characters get lost in the big picture, which absolutely sucks and completely negates everything I've been typing about here. In fact, who knows, maybe my opinion changes too after I sit with s2 for a while and contextualize s1 within it. Maybe I was just wishfully thinking and misinterpreting this whole time. I already feel like a clown for defending this show, so I can totally accept that I could probably be wrong here. But I just wanted to write it all out in the name of discussion and interpretation!

[faylvrs]

but im not hurt, im tense ✿ bllk multi ’cause i’ll be fine without you babe.

﹒postscript : it’ll never work out. feat. ɞ‎ shidou, rin, sae, kaiser ʚ cw : fem reader, angst ( no comfort )

shidou looks at you with a pout on his face. it’s been millenials since he last saw you—( 2 weeks ). so when he finally found you wandering the local store in your area, he immediately grabbed your wrist.

“you blocked me.” his mouth curls downwards. “am i nothing to you?”

the mocking look on his face only makes your frustrations grow deeper. “yes, i did block you. and that too for a reason so let g—“

“no.” his grip on your hand tightens, as if he was scared to let go. “tell me baby, where did i go wrong?” his tone sounds almost pleading.

“where did you go wrong?” you stare at him in disbelief. “you almost punched my dad at family dinner, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?” you snap at him.

“is that what you’re mad about?” shidou scoffs. “he deserved it anyway, was sayin’ some stupid shit.” he dismisses your confrontation.

“ryusei.” your hand finally breaks free from his grip, pushing him away. “this is why we broke up.” you glare at him before hurriedly exiting the store.

shidou clenches his fists, knuckles turning white as he looks down at the floor. he felt his blood boiling, like he was going to burst in an explosion.

it’s only that, he doesn’t like this explosion.

rin’s resolve is crumbling down second by second as he watches your smile break down into a look of confusion and hurt. you’re interfering with his goals? what is he talking about?

“what are you talking about?” you hold onto his hand, as if clutching a thread thats about to break. “i’ve been there for you since we were kids and supported your dream—what’s so annoying about that?” the tention in your words are clear.

“im going to become the world’s best striker.” rin grits his teeth. “and you keep getting in the fucking way.” his words are cold, hitting you like an iceberg.

you do get in his way- in every way possible. he wants to defeat itoshi sae, and yet, every goal he scores seems to be dedicated to you. you’re slowly deprieving his heart of all the hatred and god, he hates it.

he’s made up his mind, he wants to defeat itoshi sae. but with you, the only mental image in his mind is nii-chan, not itoshi sae.

he doesn’t want to destroy his older brother, he wants to destroy itoshi sae.

his heart clenches at the sorrowful look on your face. “are you serious? im getting in the way?” you look like your world has just been broken into a million pieces—it’s so sudden, you almost don’t know how to react.

“you’re lukewarm.” rin stares daggers into you. “just forget about us, you knew we were never meant to be.”

maybe rin imagined a future with you,

but all you are now is a bittersweet childhood sweetheart.

sae doesn’t have time for you.

or thats what he likes telling himself, since he always finds himself cancelling interviews or cutting practice short to come see you.

you mess with his brain—in a good and bad way.

but he know’s you deserve better, better than someone like him. you deserve someone who can be there for you, communicate with you properly, give you the affection you deserve.

but he can’t.

it’s been clear he’s never made you a priority in his life, he know’s you’re getting tired of him canceling dates and replying to your messages every few hours.

he’s just finished practice, taking a long sip from his water bottle as he opens his phone. a message from you pops up.

im breaking up with you. it’s not working out, im sorry.

sae’s expression is neutral, but the way he’s squeezing the life out of the plastic bottle says otherwise, squeezing out the last bit of water as it falls to the ground.

you have all the good reason to break up with him, but something in him wants to plead, to beg, that he’ll be better, to give him one last chance.

sorry for not making time for you. good luck.

”you’re not enough.” kaiser snaps at you, a look of fury in his eyes.

you had arguments with him often. you were tired of him constantly pushing you away whenever you’d try to show him an ounce of affection—simple things would turn into harsh words exchanged between eachother.

“do you not see how much i do for you?” you snap back. “and you’re saying im not enough? when i have to go days without contact because you don’t even bother to call?” you raise your voice at him, making him flinch.

the truth is, you’ve always been enough.

but he’s not enough for you. that’s why he’s building these barriers around himself to hide away—he doesn’t deserve you, nor your touch. you’re like an angel who descended from the gates of heaven, and he’s a lowly devil.

he’s afraid his scars will brush on you, which is why he never gives you the chance to heal them. instead pushing you further and further away.

”schatz.” his eyes waver at the hurt visible in your eyes, and the nickname doesn’t make it any better.

he can’t ask for your forgiveness, he’s not worthy of it.

he can only watch you walk out of his life, an angel deprieved of her feathers.

[ir-abelas-vhenan]

Did Someone Say Running Back to Fiction to Cope??

It's probably safe to call this Me Losing My Mind over Veilguard 5/??

One of the things upsetting me the absolute most is no mention from the Inquisitor about Varric's death. Perhaps the most integral storytelling mechanism and all around champion of reluctant heroes has been taken away from us, and one of the people he was closest to doesn't feel even a little compelled to discuss him with his apprentice?

I'm still a little dumbfounded, clearly.

Even if we as fans didn't deserve better, Varric deserved better. I've always believed that the better the character, the better a death they deserve when it's their time to go.

So anyways. In my smooth pea brain, I can't reconcile a world in which Lavellan shows up with her unconditional love blazing without first confronting and resolving the fact that her love has led to the death of one of her closest friends. So it's back to the drawing (writing?) board to soothe my disappointed soul.

I saw a version of Varric's letter to a Solas-mancing Lavellan that was datamined and ran with it.

One: All the Words Unwritten

Charter,

Yes, the trail went cold, but we haven’t entirely lost it. Solas left us a little farewell note. So I’m not giving up just yet. Maybe it’s gullible of me, but I know the Inquisitor feels the same: Solas isn’t too far gone to save. And she’d never forgive me if I didn’t try. But I don’t think I’m wrong here. Solas didn’t have to warn me and Harding off the chase when he could’ve killed us like the others who came after him. I don’t think he wants to do this. So, I’m taking the chance. Tell the Inquisitor…tell her I’ll bring him back.

—Varric

Her first tear spatters onto the parchment. The final sentence becomes an ink-stained massacre, and she throws it far away before she can lose any more of the handwriting she’ll never again see waiting for her above the seal representing his best friend’s house. Her palms bite into the unsanded wood, welcoming the bite of pain as she shoves back from the recovered tree stump she’s been using as a desk.

“Inquisitor.”

Morrigan’s voice doesn’t register, hardly rises over the sound of blood rushing through her ears like an open wound. Gods, wrong comparison . But there it is, playing out against the darkness of her eyelids every time she blinks to try and stem the flow of more tears. The wound in Varric’s chest, gushing with no one to hold pressure over it, to ensure the rise and fall of his sternum until help could arrive, no one to watch his back because the woman who did it best is no longer able to. This too, is her fault, and there has hardly been a conversation in the years that followed where she hasn’t looked into Varric’s quieter, sadder eyes and wanted to beg him for a forgiveness she knows he’d have frowned at her for needing. 

It had been her job to keep him safe now, her promise to Hawke that the choice to become another martyred hero in Ferelden’s bloody history wasn’t in vain. And here was the proof at last that she was every inch the fantasy-addled fool bards wrote about when inspiration ran dry. Here was the proof that her hope was a mantle, weighing down everyone around her until there was nothing left but blurred ink and bloodstained pages in the famed Inquisitor Lavellan’s wake. 

[syndrossi]

Hey sorry if this has been asked before, but will Baela and Rhaena exist in your story? How will be their relationship with Jon and Rhaegar? Like will their personalities go along? And their sibling relationship?

I plan for Laena to get her own twins, but it likely won't be with Daemon, considering their very different pressures and timelines. Laena knows she needs to be married quickly, as she's had the conversation with Rhaenys about being able to salvage the Laenor situation if she has daughters who can be betrothed to Luke at the very least, so that they can ensure that Driftmark's rulers still have Velaryon blood.

Whereas Daemon a) is incredibly resentful of Viserys commanding that he remarry (to the point of contrariness alone) and b) incredibly preoccupied with the twins. He feels that he needs to "make up for" the eight years lost with them and that adding another person into the mix would take time away from them, as well as perhaps give the impression that they're not good enough if he feels like he "needs" more children. And then there's the active kidnapping attempts that he wants to resolve. Basically, his time is 100% split between bonding with the twins and figuring out how to protect them / end the Volantis threat, leaving nothing for anything else for the foreseeable future.

And Laena can't really wait the indeterminate amount of time he'd need to feel secure enough to seriously consider marriage. Jace and Luke are only getting older; a match with too large an age gap might not be considered. (If Daemon wants marriage two years down the line, Baela and Rhaena would be 7-8 years younger than Jace and Luke, which means they'll either be forced to be very young mothers, as Aemma had been, or the two heirs to the Iron Throne after Rhaenyra are waiting until they're 24 before having heirs of their own.)

Now, is it possible that pressure mounts on Daemon from Viserys, if he's feeling very antsy about potentially getting more "prophecy babies" out of him? Certainly, but Daemon doesn't do well with being told what to do. You're way better off manipulating him. (If the twins themselves expressed a desire for a mother and siblings, he'd move the world to accommodate them. If you managed to convince Daemon that he's not good enough on his own, that he's failing the twins by not giving them a mother, etc.)

Really, the problem is that the story is endgame Daemon/Rhaenyra but I don't want to treat Laena as some kind of stepping stone who only exists to have her twins and then die.

[i2rizz]

505

Fandom: Blue lock

Characters: Chigiri x reader

------------‐---------------------------------------

The evening was heavy, the kind of night that carried a quiet tension in the air. The clock ticked on the wall of your dimly lit apartment, an unwelcome reminder of how long it had been since you last saw Chigiri. He wasn’t supposed to leave like he did—no warning, no explanation, just the slam of a door that echoed louder than any words could have.

But you knew better. You knew him better. Chigiri always ran when things got too complicated. And yet, here you were, waiting for the sound of his knock, just as you always did.

He was already speeding down the empty highway. His grip on the steering wheel was tight, knuckles white as he pushed the car faster, the roar of the engine drowning out his own thoughts. It didn’t matter how far he had to go, or how long it took—he needed to see you.

"If it’s a seven-hour flight or a forty-five-minute drive…”

The lyrics played softly on the car radio, eerily matching his resolve. He smirked bitterly at the coincidence, his crimson hair falling over his eyes as he shifted gears.

His mind flickered back to the last time he saw you, lying on your side in bed, your body tucked into his as if you were made to fit there. He could almost feel the warmth of your hand resting against his thigh, a casual gesture that still sent shivers through him whenever he thought about it.

You lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling. The memories of him were suffocating tonight. The way he looked at you, the way his voice softened when he called you by your name, the way his touch lingered just a second too long—it was all too much.

"Stop and wait a sec…"

Your mind drifted to the way he always looked at you before he spoke, as if weighing his words carefully. It was a look that could cut through every wall you’d built around yourself. And the way he smiled, crooked and teasing—it always left you feeling like the air had been knocked out of your lungs.

But it wasn’t just his looks, or the way he made you feel. It was the way he left. Always leaving. Always running before things could get messy, before they could get real.

You turned onto your side, burying your face in your hands. "Why do I even wait for him?” you whispered to no one.

"The middle of adventure, such a perfect place to start…"

Chigiri’s thoughts were spiraling. He didn’t mean to hurt you, not again. But he’d panicked, the idea of being vulnerable enough to love you fully both thrilling and terrifying.

He thought of the way you looked at him when you were mad, your eyes blazing with a fire that matched his own. It was a look that made him want to stay and fight, but also run as fast as he could.

And yet, here he was, racing back to you.

The knock on your door startled you out of your thoughts. Your heart leaped, knowing exactly who it was. You hesitated for a moment before walking over, your hand trembling as you unlocked it.

Chigiri stood there, rain dripping from his hair, his face a mixture of defiance and vulnerability. He looked like he’d run through hell to get here, and maybe he had.

“Hyoma…” you whispered, your voice breaking.

“I know,” he interrupted, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. “I screwed up again. I ran when I should’ve stayed. I know.”

You closed the door behind him, leaning against it as you crossed your arms. “Then why are you here now?”

He looked at you, his crimson eyes softening. “Because I can’t stay away. No matter how much I try, I always end up back here.”

His words hit you like a wave, all the anger and frustration melting into something warmer, something heavier. You didn’t say anything, just stared at him as he stepped closer, his hands hesitating before cupping your face.

“You’re my 505,” he murmured, his voice barely audible. “No matter how far I go, I always end up coming back to you.”

You sat together on the couch, the silence between you more comforting than words. His hand rested on your thigh, his touch grounding you as the storm outside raged on.

“But I crumble completely when you cry…”

The words played softly from your speakers, and you couldn’t help but glance at him. His head was tilted back, his eyes closed as he listened. You reached out, tracing the line of his jaw with your fingers.

“Hyoma,” you began, but he opened his eyes and shook his head.

“Don’t,” he said quietly. “I know what you’re going to say. And you’re right. I don’t deserve you, not after all the times I’ve left. But I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere this time.”

You didn’t respond, just leaned into him, letting the weight of his presence soothe the ache in your chest.

As the hours ticked by, the rain outside slowed to a gentle patter. The world seemed to settle, the chaos of the night giving way to a quiet stillness.

“I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me,” he whispered into your hair, his arms tightening around you.

You smiled softly, your eyes drifting shut as the sound of his heartbeat lulled you to sleep. For the first time in a long while, you felt at peace.

------------‐---------------------------------------

IM GOING BACK TO 505 IF ITS A SEVEN HOUR FLIGHT OR A FOURTY FIVE MINUTE DRIVE

[abysshare]

Wow..i saw the leaks and just. Wow.

I was hoping they were fake and its everything i hate in a series. I was biting my tongue until i saw the episodes but here we are.

Before i go into spoilers i do want to say that i AM grateful that we even got anymore of Arcane, but sometimes less is more.

Spoilers underneath

Edit: these are kinda messy thoughts.

My biggest gripes:

Too many plot points for a finale

Family trade in ( Bio sister for found sister for bio sister again )

Vander dying, Alive but fucked up, okay, fucked up again, dead, alive but fucked up, dead.

Not bringing up Isha at all??? Not even a quick funeral?

People being brought back to life but Isha and Jinx has to die.

Jinx has to sacrifice herself to save Vi and herself. 😒

The SEX scene.

Better explaination:

Too many Plot points:

I knew it was gonna be too many. I KNOW we needed answers/resolved plots, as well as needing things to make sense. But it.. was too much. Like most media at this point.

Family Trade In:

So... no one really talks about this trope? Or whatever you want to call it. But it bugs me, so much. If you don't know what I'm talking about..

To me a family trade in is when a Character, no matter their role, has family, turns evil or gets lost and finds a family of their own, and then when it seems perfect for them, they end up back with their original family because the new family died for them/their old family or they just.. don't belong/want to go.

Perfect example that isn't Arcane: Amphibia. Anne has to leave her adoptive found family from another universe and can never go back ( until she dies basically ). As well as her friends have to leave their found families as well and also cannot go back. Anne loves both her families..

And while i understand life isn't fair, and that people are allowed to not want to stay here or there.. it just bugs me the trope is to always trade back in for the old.

With Jinx, she "loses" Vi ( and yes Silco but it isn't about him right now ), And gets Isha. I KNEW the second i saw her she was gonna die ( this isn't a bash against those who didn't see it coming ( /genuine ) at some point. While i adore Isha and i am fine with Jinx adopting her, i am not okay with the writers choice of adding her just to kill her and be practically a trade in for Vi later on.

It sucks. I'll just say it out right.

And i want to be very clear. By trade in i do NOT mean replace. I know Isha was never a replacement for Vi ( or Powder ).

Again, i know life sucks, and you just don't get everything you want in this world, especially when it comes to war. But since this is a trope or at least a thing i see constantly, whether its in a pg way or an R rated way... its annoying.

Which brings me to....

People dying / Jinx / Vander:

Why? Other than shock value?

Jinx Dies, and it felts uncomfortable to me as a Psychotic/Schizospec person like her. She should have lived, she should have been able to find her own happiness after properly grieving Isha.

Isha Dies, happy to do so for her big sister(s), but like.. it ends up not being worth it. It both does and doesn't. She saved them time but then-

Vander. Vander is killed, then brought back to life in a fucked up way, then okay for awhile, then fucked up again, then dies ( by Isha ) and then is fucked up again and alive, and then dead.......... and then fucked up and alive again! And then dies, with Jinx!

It doesn't feel satisfying. Of course that one moment was very sweet and worth it. But oh my god? Why do it at all if you're just gonna kill and reanimate him again and again. Its not shocking its annoying by the third time and a joke by the fourth.

Viktor.. Same deal with him? And I'm not even clear if he is dead or just fucked off to space-time with Jayce, but still. It wasn't shocking anymore. Or thrilling. Just like "ah. Okay. Cool mask".

Heimerdinger... when i read the leaks i thought he was gonna die. Then i was watching and thought "oh no okay, he's gonna stay in that universe. Thats nice he deserves that". Nope. He's either also dead or also in space time. I just sighed really hard rather than be sad.

And finally.. The Doctor's daughter gets to live- AND HIMSELF- even he gets a happy ending? Over Jinx or Vi? What.. i mean yes Vi gets Caitlyn , but.. ? Ugh

The Sex scene:

I'm glad for Sapphic rep i really really am. I like Caitvi a lot as well. But this didn't feel comfortable for me. Not because it was an intimate moment, but because neither of them talked things out properly. On top of that it was really random.

Vi was upset, then suddenly horny for i guess.. make up or grief sex? Or both? And Cait was obviously fine with it, but then to suddenly try and talk about Maddie. I'm glad Vi wasn't the typical ">:( you fucked someone else while i was hurting?!" It was so... random. This is why they needed to talk before hand. At LEAST say it before getting into it.

And doing it in Jinx's cell? It feels so.. weird and wrong in a way? I don't know how to describe it.

TLDR: what in the five marvel hells was that other than visuals pretty